Thursday, January 3, 2013

Hello, 2013.

One year ago, I greeted 2012 by letting it know what was up:

In 2012, I shall marry. I shall pass the New York bar. We might even move to New York, should all go well, and start putting down some permanent roots. I shall embark on a fabulous honeymoon. Perhaps there will be talk of starting a family. Just talk, mind you. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

I will start volunteering. I will try to be a better friend. I will strive to be in the moment and try to stop waiting for my real life to start. I will realize that it already has. I will try to give up the idea that things are supposed to look or feel a certain way in order to be fully enjoyed and just bask in monumental moments for what they are, as they come.

I will start my career. You hear that, 2012? I will start my career.

In February, I took the New York bar exam.

In May, I found out I passed.

In June, we moved to New York.

In August, I got a job to pay the bills.

In September, we set a wedding date.

In October, I got a job to make me happy (which also pays the bills).

And somewhere along the way, I started to feel settled.  Like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.  Like I was finally on the right path.  Like life was about to get so very good. 

This year for me was learning that I am in control of my own life, that even when things feel totally out of control that how I respond and what I do about it is completely within my control.  I could literally feel myself willing us forward this year, pushing us towards the goals I had set.  I kept burning boats.  This year also taught me that gratitude and taking nothing for granted is the key to keeping sane when things seem dark and scary.  It was a year full of facing fears and checking items off lists. 

I feel like 2011 was about being scared and feeling helpless, 2012 was about facing those fears, changing my perspective, and doing some hard work to shake things up, and 2013 is going to be about enjoying.


In 2013, I shall marry.  In a little over two months, actually, to be more precise.  We will buy a house, or at the very least, rent a little house where we can see ourselves for a while.  We will talk about starting a family, though the timeline on that is still a little blurry.  I will make the transition from feeling like I have a lot to learn at work to feeling like I have a lot to contribute at work (while still learning all the time, of course). 

I really am going to start volunteering.  After this year, especially, I very much want to start giving back and commit myself to a cause I feel passionate about.  I will pay off my credit cards and start putting money into savings. 

Now that some of the big picture stuff has fallen into place, I want to start focusing on the small things that bring me joy again.  I want to start reading again for pleasure.  I think I barely read a book in 2012, which is so unlike me.  I want to start cooking and baking again regularly.  I also want to explore my new home here and make New York feel like my home as much as it is Joe's. 

Also, in 2013, I'd like to take a vacation.  A real vacation.  I want to go somewhere I've always wanted to go, somewhere where I know no one and there are no obligations.  Somewhere that is purely for pleasure.  Joe and I are not going on a honeymoon, mostly for budget reasons, so I'd like for us to get away somewhere before the year is up. 

I'm looking forward to you, 2013.  Ever so much.  Please be gentle.  Please be fantastic.