Current Mood: I Don't Have A Word For It But Take A Deep Exhausted Sigh Near Tears And It's Like That

I am not myself.  I am moody and crabby and tired and stressed and not even autumn, my most beloved of all the seasons, can snap me out of it.  This semester has been the worst, most difficult, most stressful and consuming of all the semesters that have come before.  It will not let up.  And between the reading and the papers and the part-time job and the being completely broke and the preparing for life after graduation without knowing how I will pay for it or manage and the ongoing to-do list that gets more things added than get checked off, I'm feeling like I'm in the ocean and I keep waiting for a break in the waves so I can lift my head and take a deep breath but the waves, they will not stop coming. 

Nothing catastrophic has happened, nothing that deserves legitimate complaint.  There is a lot of good.  I recognize it and am grateful for it.  But just right now, in this moment, the tedium and stress and weight of life is bearing down on me and I cannot breathe.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Semesters end.  School will end.  Being broke will end (please).  But in the meantime, if I could just have a little bit of air, that would be really, really nice. 

Best Card Ever

On the front is a lady double-fisting huge glass of wine.  Her boobs are a bit low-slung but otherwise she seems like my kind of lady.

Inside it says: "On Halloween Wynona Sara and Christina figures out a way to keep from eating too much candy."

Then this hand-written note:
"Dearest lovliest Christina,

I hope you have a halloween befitting of your royal, regal perSonality and fabulous [something scratched out] sense of style.  Sorry for the mistakes.  I've been drinking for several hours.

Love you!
Sara"

What I so appreciate is the dedication to keeping up with her correspondence despite inebriation.  Also, that the card was about drinking and she wrote it out while drinking.  I like a girl who commits to a theme.

This really says so much about the company I keep.  Thoughtful, willing to flatter, polite, and ever so slightly drunk.

I love you too, Sara!

Fall and Chili and Cheese

Hello.  It is October.  This makes me very happy.  The air is chill and crisp.  All is right with the world.  I want cinnamon and nutmeg and apples and pumpkins and hearty dishes and baked goods straight from the oven and other things in those general categories.

I love being in the kitchen.  Good things happen there.  I take a good deal of pride and pleasure in making yummy things. To the point that my old roommate used to make fun of me because even when I was cooking for one, I still finished off meals with a nice garnish.  But seriously, why even bother making a homemade marinara if you're not going to finish it off with a basil chiffonade?  I'm not an animal. 

October this year was kicked off with beef chili and sour cream and cheddar biscuits from Smitten Kitchen.

Delicious.  Hit the spot.  Perfect for fall.  Hot and hearty.  I changed up the recipe a little though.  I wanted it a little more stew-y and a little less chili-y and a little more healthy so I only added one pound of lean ground beef and doubled the kidney beans. 

For the biscuits, I added a minced fresh jalapeno because I couldn't find the pickled version.  I also replaced the sour cream with fat-free Greek yogurt.  I generally use Greek yogurt wherever sour cream is usually called for (on potatoes, on tacos, to add creaminess to a sauce, etc.), but this was the first time I used it in baking.  Worked beautifully.  These biscuits were cheesy and satisfying.  I highly recommend.

My next project is perfecting pumpkin bread.  My first batch did not have enough fall spice.  My second batch had way too much.  I ate all of both batches just to make sure.  I am dedicated.  

Stupid Practicality Always Getting In My Way

I love children.  That's no secret.  Babies don't phase me at all.  I can change a diaper, heat a bottle, or patiently soothe a cryer like a pro.  Luckily I have very fertile extended family that has let me get lots of practice.  They very kindly trust me with their babies and I have loved every minute of it and am very grateful for it.  Two Saturdays ago, I got to baby-sit seven of my cousins (ages: 14, 11, 7, 3, 20 mo, 18 mo, and 1 mo) while all their parents attended a wedding.  I did not do this alone, mind you.  My Aunt Deb stopped by for a bit, Joe was there for most of it, and my cousin wisely hired another baby-sitter who was there for most of it so we could have an extra set of hands. 

And other than discovering an 18 month old eating a tube of maximum strength diaper cream (Poison Control said he would be just fine, thank God), everything went swimmingly.  I loved it.  I would do it every day.  I cannot wait to do it every day.  A long time from now. 

There was a moment though, you guys, when I was holding the 1-month old.  He was snuggling against my chest in his teeny feety pajamas and I caught a glimpse of myself  in the mirror and I had to catch my breath.  It looked, I don't know, right?  Like this could be my kid.  I looked old enough to be holding this kid.  It was weird.  Every time before I've caught a glimpse of myself holding a baby, I looked like a baby myself.  Not yet.  Not time yet.  But this time it hit me hard that I'm at the point I could do this. 

Obviously, practicality, wins out.  I graduate law school in May and then a career needs starting and there needs to be a wedding and some money in the bank and, you know, all that life sorting stuff.

But it's close.  One of those crazy life is changing moments.  One I've been looking forward to for a long time. 

239 Things to Eat

I love to discover new fabulous restaurants but I am not very good at it.  I've lived just outside Philly for 2 years now and yet there are only about 3 restaurants I regularly frequent.  So inspired by Maggie eating the best of San Francisco, I have discovered this list of the 239 Best Dishes to Eat in Philly.  Perfect!  I will eat all of those things!  Well, most of those things.  Let's agree on a good number of those things.  Fun!

So far, I have eaten none of those things.  But I will.

It's good to have goals. 

What He Meant Was "Food," "Photography," and "YOUR DRESS"

I've had weddings on the brain lately.  Knowing that when the time comes, it will have to be done on a budget, I decided to ask Joe what his three priorities would be for the big day.  The three places where the bulk of the budget should go, with sacrifices being made everywhere else.  Once we got past this exchange...

"I don't know, where does the money usually go?"

"Food, flowers, cake..."

"Oh, we don't need flowers."

"What will I carry down the aisle?"

"You can have one flower.  Maybe two."

his answers were:

"the reception venue,"

"booze,"

"and, um...hmmm..."

"the honeymoon?"

Oh, Joe, silly, I can't wear any of those things.  Nor can any of those things take permanent record of the beautiful things I am wearing.  You're adorable. 

I Do Love A Bargain

I have long been coveting these UGG moccasins. 

But $100?  The cafeteria lady took 18 cents off the price of my soda last week because I realized too late I didn't have 20 extra cents in my wallet.  Times are tough is what I'm saying.

I found these at Target.

$15, bitches! 

Okay, technically they are slippers but they have a hard sole.  Totally wearing them everywhere.  Shhh.  Don't tell anyone.

"Tree Guy" Would Be A Lot Safer

I pulled up next to pick-up truck yesterday and was struck by the professional decal on the side.

It said "abortionist."

Now I consider myself pretty liberal, y'all, but this seemed inappropriate.  Why not just advertise that you're a doctor and maybe people find out the rest after they get to know you a bit?  Honestly.  A bit much. 

Then I looked again.

Oh.  "Arborist."

That would explain the accompanying big picture of the tree.

I need more sleep.

I Think It's the Beard

I can't explain it.  I realize this is meant to be humorous.  It is.  But it also does things to me I don't think are intended.  Oh, Coco.



Welcome back, sir. 

In Reality, I'm a Little Jealous

I'm a little preoccupied with very non-fun law school-related work, but in the meantime, my best friend now blogs and you can go read that here. 

It was only a matter of time.  She pretty much copies everything I do. 

I mean, she loves warm weather, moved to California, got a real job, bought a house with her boyfriend, eloped in Hawaii and is living in Monterey temporarily before setting off on a glorious move to France. 

It's like she's trying to be my twin. 

The Beginning of a Never Ending Series: Things You Cannot Do With Large Boobs

Learning to play golf is on my Life List.  Joe took me out to the driving range to try to help.  It did not go well.  Joe's golf clubs are way too big and it is difficult to swing when you have to anchor the club between your boobs.  Note my stance and deep concentration:

Now prepare yourself for the sheer elegance of my swing.



It is hard to ignore the guy in the background staring.  Obviously, he's never seen this kind of talent. 

Joe is slightly better than me.

Nick and Jessica have provided us with a pretty much exact reenactment of how the day went beginning at the 5:52 mark. 

I am going to need a lot more practice.  And possibly a breast reduction.