Sunday, October 31, 2010

Current Mood: I Don't Have A Word For It But Take A Deep Exhausted Sigh Near Tears And It's Like That

I am not myself.  I am moody and crabby and tired and stressed and not even autumn, my most beloved of all the seasons, can snap me out of it.  This semester has been the worst, most difficult, most stressful and consuming of all the semesters that have come before.  It will not let up.  And between the reading and the papers and the part-time job and the being completely broke and the preparing for life after graduation without knowing how I will pay for it or manage and the ongoing to-do list that gets more things added than get checked off, I'm feeling like I'm in the ocean and I keep waiting for a break in the waves so I can lift my head and take a deep breath but the waves, they will not stop coming. 

Nothing catastrophic has happened, nothing that deserves legitimate complaint.  There is a lot of good.  I recognize it and am grateful for it.  But just right now, in this moment, the tedium and stress and weight of life is bearing down on me and I cannot breathe.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Semesters end.  School will end.  Being broke will end (please).  But in the meantime, if I could just have a little bit of air, that would be really, really nice. 


SG said...

Would me sending another card I wrote while drinking help? I'm not much of a drinker anymore, but for you I'd do a keg-stand!

Christina said...

Yes, bring over a keg. And vodka. And something chocolate. That will help.

Frenchie said...

I think everyone should get drunk and send you a heartfelt card so then you'd have something to read other than textbooks. I'll get started right on that! Hang in there Stinky, and please eat one of those delicious cookies from the ice cream store down the street, I know it would make me feel better.