Tuesday, February 18, 2014


I know there are people out there with actual problems of significant magnitude, but I want to forget about those people for just a minute and indulge in a self-important rant about things that have little to no import in the grand scheme of things.  Okay, great.
I called yesterday and renewed our lease for another month.  We are currently on a month-to-month lease term because the idea of committing to this apartment for more than one month at a time is more than I can take.  We have been diligently saving and paying down debt so that we can put ourselves in the best position to qualify for a mortgage and start our house hunt.  I would like to buy a house yesterday. 
I want a washer/dryer.  We live in an apartment complex with many different buildings and the laundry facilities are spread out amongst them.  There is no laundry in our building.  With 3+ feet of snow on the ground currently, the usual shortcuts across lawns to the closest building with laundry are cut off.  So every time I want to do a load of laundry, I have to lug the basket to the car and drive it to the closest building with laundry.  No, wait, first I have to drive to the rental office to load money on our laundry card.  Because putting a reload machine where the actual laundry facilities are makes entirely too much sense.  So I have to drive to go reload the card, have it reject my bills 10 times before it finally accepts them, then back in the car.  I lug the laundry basket and the giant and ridiculously heavy laundry detergent inside and down a flight of stairs only to find all two machines taken.  Oh, that's right.  In each laundry room, there are only 2 machines.  So back to the car to drive to another building hoping to find empty machines.  Then I fill two machines with what should only be one load of laundry because the washers are maddeningly tiny.  Then I slide my card and pay $3.00 motherfucking dollars to wash one load.  Drying one load is $2.75.  $5.75 for one load!  And that's only if you don't have to add more time.  You always have to add more time.  Shit is never dry after one standard dry cycle.  Then back in the car to go home.  Thirty minutes later back in the car to put everything in the dryer.  I forgot the dryer sheets.  I don't care.  I'm not going back for the dryer sheets.  Back home.  An hour later, back in the car to get the dry stuff.  Hope it's not snowing or raining so everything doesn't get wet while I lug it to the car.  This giant pain in the ass means nothing extra ever gets washed.  I daydream about pulling all of our warm blankets out of their storage boxes and washing them.  I daydream about washing our duvet and mattress pad and heavy jackets and all the things it's just not worth doing.  One day, I will have a washer and a dryer in the house and I will wash and dry things with reckless glorious abandon. 
I also want a bath.  I want a big, beautiful tub that I can fill with bubbles and lock the door and light candles and drink a glass of wine and read a book.  For some reason, I have been craving a bath lately like crazy.  Our apartment has a small tub, but it has one of those sliding glass doors and it's more of a glorified shower stall than a real tub.  A bath in that thing would be uncomfortable and unpleasant.  For our upcoming first wedding anniversary, we booked a night in the same room where we spent our wedding night and the room has a giant, gorgeous marble bathroom with a beautiful clawfoot tub.  I have been fantasizing about that tub since we made the reservation. 
You know what else would be nice?  Not knowing the exact duration of the pee streams of the guy who lives upstairs. 
I realize there are pros and cons.  For instance, I will probably one day miss not having to plow or shovel with every snowfall because there's a whole maintenance crew who takes care of it.  I will probably miss being able to make a quick phone call and have a guy here in 5 minutes when we discover there's no hot water.  I will probably miss not having to pay property taxes and having the cost of gas and water included in our rent.  I will miss not having to worry about whether the roof needs replacing or the furnace bites it or the house has an ant infestation.  I realize that.  But right now those things seem totally worth it as long as I have a washer/dryer and I don't have to hear that guy pee.