Monday, September 16, 2013

This Counts as a Will

An actual text message exchange with my mother, who I think loves me:

me:   We bought life insurance.  You are my secondary beneficiary.  So if Joe and I both die in the same accident you are gonna clean up!

mom:   Can't wait

me:   Don't get too excited because by the time you're done with all the things I'm going to request for my funeral, there won't be much left.

mom:   Cremation

me:   No, I want a mother of pearl casket and Beyonce to perform.