The Future

Oh, right. This. I suppose something had to fall through the cracks. Other things that fell through the cracks? Going to the gym, studying and putting away laundry. What did not fall through the cracks? Sleeping, watching TV and physically attending class/work/internship. Priorities. Like today, one of my classes got cancelled, so I was done for the day at 12:30. I went home to get lunch and thought about all I could accomplish today: wash my car, go to the gym, go to the grocery store, study, send out more applications for summer internships, sweep the hardwood floors. I got home and swept the floors. Then I put on my pajamas. Big mistake.

Do you ever imagine the future and have a vision of your ultimate self? Like in my future, I see me being a morning person, getting a lot done in a day, being very stylish at all times, having a clean house and car, going to bed early, and being at all times fabulous. I am not/do not do these things now, but somehow I figure I will be those things/do those things in my real life. Which I suppose requires me to explain that I don't think of right now as real life. This is just the waiting period, the preparing time, before real life starts. That doesn't really make any sense. It sounds a lot more reasonable in my head. A lot of things make a ton more sense up there. You should come visit. The wonders you will see!

Something about this time of year makes me start thinking about the future. I think because it's so cozy and beautiful out and it makes me crave freshly baked treats and warm blankets. Then I start thinking about the holidays and that always makes me think about family. Then that leads to thinking about the family yet to be that I will create someday and the life I will be living then and the person I want to be. The bad habits I hope to have conquered and the good things I hope I don't forget. It's like me now vs. future me. I think me now is pretty great, but future me is totally awesome. That woman gets shit done. She's very impressive. I don't exactly know when I will cross the line from me now into future me, but I think I have to graduate law school and put some ducks in a row first. Then it'll just kind of happen. I'm pretty sure.

I suppose I could start thinking of right now as real life. Start living the life I want. Try harder to be the person I envision. Maybe at least get the ducks ready to line up. That would be the smart thing to do.

It's a Mystery

Last weekend, Joe and I spent Friday and Saturday night at Joe's aunt's house. His mom was housesitting for his aunt and uncle and we decided to camp there for the weekend since it was so much closer to Holly's wedding. After I went to bed Saturday night, I noticed my right knee was mildly throbbing. I pulled up the leg of my pajama pants to check it out and noticed for the first time that day that my knee was bruised and swollen and about a square inch of it was caked in dried blood. "Curious," I thought to myself. "Um, Joe, did I at any point today say, 'ouch, my knee,' or mention hurting my knee, or perhaps was I rendered temporarily unconscious?". "No." So basically, I did some serious damage to my knee on Saturday and have no memory of when, what or why. And before you go blaming the wedding's open bar, at no point on Saturday was I drunk. At least not so drunk that I would be unaware of slamming my knee in a car door, or falling down, or walking into a tree or anything else that could possibly explain this level of damage. So basically, my knee at some point on Saturday spontaneously combusted.

Then I woke up this morning to my right (same) knee seriously aching. It felt like I'd twisted it. It's still aching, even now, as I sit with my legs propped on a footstool at my local Starbucks while I munch on a pumpkin scone, typing this, when I should be reading the next 20 pages in my Constitutional Law book. But that is really beside the point. The point is, my knee hurts again. For no reason. My bed is not pushed against the wall, there is no debris in my bed, there is nothing I could have banged it against or caught it upon. And if I did twist my knee in my sleep, what the hell am I doing in my sleep? Oddly contorting apparently. At least that's not as strange as the fact that Joe can't sleep with a sheet on the bed. He falls asleep with a sheet and a blanket and the next morning the sheet will be twisted in a ball at the bottom of the bed and he will be curled up under the blanket only. How does he do that? This is why we will never be able to have nice bed linens. Because he's a sheet baller and I oddly contort.

Anyway, this reminds me of the times in college, when my friend Sara would come downstairs with mysterious bruises and injuries because she kept banging herself and her parts against the wall in her sleep, until one day she banged her face into the wall and then kept complaining all day, "my face hurts." Now imagine it high-pitched and in a Southern accent. Now I'm sorry I made fun of her because my knee hurts! Only my situation is worse because at least there was some explanation for Sara's injuries. My knee hurts for no reason. Also, while we're on the subject, hey Sara, why didn't you just move your bed away from the wall? Why did that never occur to us? It's amazing the kind of clarity you can have six years later.

So here's hoping, six years from now, I'll finally have the clarity to know what the hell I did to my damn knee. Also, that I'll finally have found a sheet set that can contain Joe. Also, that I meet someone that says "oh hey, I remember you, you're the girl that banged her knee into that door on October 10, 2009 causing it to bruise and swell and bleed!" And I'll say, "THANK YOU, kind sir, that has been bothering the hell out of me for six years now!" Seriously, how did it happen?

I Like My Revenge to be Season Appropriate

Holly and Joe's reception had gorgeous views of the Hudson River, perfect for photo ops. My buddies and I took lots of gorgeous shots posing in front of the water. Sara was sweet enough to take several of my Joe and I. She was forced to take several because I veto almost every picture I'm in as no good and insist on another and another until I have completely exhausted myself and my photographer. I suppose I was exhausting Joe as well, because in one shot, I am smiling fantastically and he is standing slightly behind me sticking his tongue out at me. He really shouldn't do such things because it makes me want to do things like this:


I certainly hope no one googling him ever sees that. But I suppose I would have to label it Joe Randazzo for that to happen. Or Joseph Randazzo. Joseph A. Randazzo. Joseph Allard Randazzo. Beacon High School Class of 1998.

I LOVE having a blog!

Fall: A Love Affair

If I just say I love Fall, I don't think I'll be fully understood. Something clicks for me at this time of year. My soul feels lighter. It' difficult to explain.

The cool, crisp weather. Macintosh apples. Pumpkin bread. Cinnamon. Leaves exploding in violent shades of red, yellow and orange. Something about it makes me feel like I can exhale.

It should go without saying that I hate summer. I'm miserable during summer. I hate not being able to walk from a parking lot to my destination without developing beads of sweat on my forehead. I hate the feeling of my clothes and hair sticking to my skin in the heat and humidity. I hate feeling stifled and uncomfortable. Everything I love feels like a chore in the summer: baking, cooking, hot coffee, driving with the windows down, hot showers, heavy and cozy blankets. All abandoned because they would only increase the heat that is already weighing me down, evaporating the life right out of me.

But in Fall, I get my life back. Going outside is a pleasure instead of something to be dreaded. I want to take a walk, open all the windows, make some hearty soup, snuggle under the covers. As soon as the weather changes, I can breathe again. I'm more fully myself in the Fall. I'm happier. Ecstatic even. I look forward to walking outside in the morning and having that cool air envelop me. It makes me smile. And that's hard to do before 10:00 am.

Fall is one of the reasons I love living in the Northeast. When I go back home for Christmas and it's 70 degrees, something just doesn't feel right. I don't feel right. I need the cold. I like that it gets dark earlier, I like that pajamas and thick socks have never been so comfortable, I like that the weather outside makes you crave a snuggle, I like that sweating is optional.

In case you were wondering, in October, I'm really, really happy. Like now would be a good time to ask me for a favor kind of happy. Like all is right with the world kind of happy. Like so happy that I'm really looking forward to snow and currently think I won't mind at all getting up a half hour early because I need to dig out my car. That's a whole lot of happy.

Holly & Joe Got Married

Their wedding was lovely and lots of fun. All I kept thinking the whole time was how little she looked. Like the Holly I've always known and loved now playing dress-up. Like she wasn't old enough to get married and we weren't old enough to be at a wedding unsupervised. I'm still not comfortable with this whole grown-up thing. I thought attending a close friend's wedding would feel more defining, like now we are adults. But no. It felt like anytime my college friends are all together except Holly was in a gorgeous white dress, her Joe was beaming, and we were all attempting our best behavior. Holly was radiant and I'm so, so happy for her. Through hard work, dedication, and a clear sense of who she is, she has created the exact life she wanted. She and Joe let each other be exactly who they are and their love and mutual respect shows in everything they do. Their wedding was definitely a celebration. Of their love past, present and future. Of adventures and life experiences yet to come. Of looking forward and embracing what can be. If that's being a grown-up, then maybe I won't fight it so hard.

The Key to Keeping a Man Happy is Taking an Interest in His Interests

Joe: [Stuff about the baseball playoffs, blah, blah, blah, baseball, blah, blah, Yankees].

Me: So do you think A-Rod househunting with Kate Hudson will effect his game?

Joe: A-Rod is dating Kate Hudson?

Me: Uh, yeah! Where have you been? They're househunting and everything. You don't know anything about baseball!

Joe: Uh huh. And you do? What's the infield fly rule?

Me: Um. I know this. It's when the guy hits the ball and it goes really high. Over the infield. And the players can't see it because the sun is in their eyes so they can't catch it so they just let the guy go to first base.

Joe: Uh, no. It's when a fair fly ball is hit over the infield and the runner is automatically out if there are runners on first and second or the bases are loaded.

Me: That's what I said.

Joe: Not even close.

Me: I don't see how that has anything to do with Kate Hudson.

Joe: [Silence]. I'm going to bed.

Victory!

I went to the gym tonight for the first time in a while and weighed myself before my workout. Apparently, I had lost 8 lbs in the past two weeks, which I readily chose to believe despite the fact that I have done nothing to bring this about. Post-workout, I weighed myself again because, well, I like, and hope for, instant gratification. The scale said I had gained 10 lbs in the last 60 minutes. So either the university gym scale is broken and/or a dirty lying liar or what I've believed for so many years may actually be true: staying home and eating is way better than physical exertion. The scale doesn't lie, people!

Aw, Who's A Cute Potato?

I like my potatoes adorable.

False Advertising

Random guy spotting my Dallas Cowboys sweatshirt: "Hey, who are they playing this weekend?"

Me: "No idea."

Guy: "So then it's just a sweatshirt?"

Me: "It's just a sweatshirt."

Guy: "Caught ya."

Yep, you win, random guy. Way to go.