Wednesday, August 14, 2013

A Rant About Ultimately Nothing

It was a cold, brisk day about a week before my wedding.  I had just gotten a spray tan that morning and was in the awkward muddy looking phase when your tan is deepening by the hour, verging on too dark, but you still have to wait another few hours to shower off the excess lest you ruin the whole thing.  I was at the mall to run several of the errands which never seemed to end immediately pre-wedding.  Joe was with me.  I headed to Kiehl's because I was running low on tinted moisturizer.  I got there and went to grab a bottle off the usual shelf.  It wasn't there, replaced by some other product.  Assuming the store had been rearranged, I asked a sales clerk for a bottle.  "Oh, the tinted moisturizer has been discontinued."


I think I stared at her, not blinking, letting the enormity of those words wash over me.  The Kiehl's Ultra Facial Tinted Moisturizer in medium has been my all-time favorite product for four (FOUR!) years.  Which is saying a lot considering I generally have zero product loyalty.  There is no single other product in my beauty repertoire which I buy consistently.  There was only The One.  It was the perfect amount of coverage in the perfect shade and blended seamlessly and I have used it instead of foundation ever since I discovered it.  Because it was perfect.  So perfect that I dedicated an entire post to its perfection on May 19, 2009 (MAY 19, 2009!).  And now it's gone forever and nothing will ever be the same.

Don't worry, she tried to reassure the freakishly and unnaturally tan girl standing in front of her, usually when Kiehl's discontinues something, it's because it's being re-formulated.  It will probably be back!  Even better than before!

For the next several months, I stalked the Kiehl's website, waiting for word that the moisturizer was back.  One day I checked, and there was a new BB cream promising to correct and beautify and do everything the moisturizer did but BETTER.  Except in a much smaller bottle costing $12 more.  It's great.  I love it.  It offers everything the moisturizer did.  Except in a much smaller bottle costing $12 more.  I used to pay $25 for a bottle which lasted almost 4 months.  Now I pay $37 for a bottle which will probably only last 2 months.  Kiehls, I ask you, is this better?  Is it, really

Additionally, but probably not lastly, it is my opinion that BB creams are trendy and very of the moment and will soon go the way of the perm and matte lipstick.  Loyalty is important but I'm not going to be able to hang if the $37 BB cream turns into $45 CC cream to become $52 DD cream.  Where does it end?

Kiehl's, if you're listening, if you happen to have a case of my moisturizer just laying around the warehouse somewhere, I'm super willing to give it a good home.  And maybe next time, don't mess with perfection.  Or just ask me first?  Cool.


Kelsey said...

Man, I HATE when that happens! I think my favorite facial scrub has been discontinued, because I haven't been able to find it in any store for about 3 months, and I'm so sad! It was truly perfect and I can't believe more people didn't think so, because why else would it just disappear??? Ugh. My mom has been using the same beauty regimen for like 45 years, Noxema and Ponds, and that shit is still around... Maybe I should take a hint and go to the old standbys...

SG said...

Same thing happened to my $8 mascara. Damn you Loreal!

Christina said...

It's the worst. What was your facial scrub? Is there a black market for this sort of thing?

Loreal makes the best mascara! I've liked almost every formula of theirs I've tried. And I've tried a lot because every time I go for a new tube, I can't remember what I got last time.

LWhits said...

What the heck is BB cream? I keep seeing it everywhere. Dove face lotion with SPF 15. Hasn't been around for a few years now.