Friday, July 13, 2012

There Was This One With Lily Laying On Her Back With Her Paws in the Air Being Adorable and You Just Would Have Died

As you may know, when you are applying for jobs, your phone is your life line.  I jump every time it rings and my heart skips a beat whenever I see an unknown number calling.  Heaven help the telemarketers who have dashed my hopes the last few weeks.  Heart breakers, the lot of you. 

So I was in a bit of a tizzy when I woke up yesterday and discovered that my phone was dead and refused to hold a charge.  I panicked, perhaps yelled a few words that can only be described as decidedly un-ladylike, and made a mad dash to the local AT&T store, visions of all of the choice job offers that were pouring into my inaccessible voicemail dancing in my head.  (Yes, I know you can access your voicemail by calling your own number, but no I do not remember my pass code.  Shut up.) 

I approached the nearest AT&T gentleman, held out my phone, described the problem, and said fix it.  He explained ever so kindly that my phone is ancient by tech standards, they don't even make it anymore, and fixing it would not be cost effective.  He then further explained that if the phone would not turn on then all of my pictures and items saved were forever lost.  Unless you have a memory card?  No? 

Do you guys have any idea how many photos of my cat the world will never see?  Do you? 

Anyway, after one very long, blank, incredulous, teary stare, he told me I was eligible for an upgrade.  Obviously I am cash poor at the moment, so it's not a great time to get a smart phone and a data plan and incur additional monthly charges.  However, my options were pretty limited.  I could get a cheap non-smart phone, but that would be a waste of an upgrade and I'd be stuck with it for a while.  So I asked if I could go ahead and get an iPhone, but without a data plan.  I figured I could just use it as a regular phone for now, and then when the finances are a little bit more secure, I could start paying for the data plan.  Apparently, this is not an option.  No purchase of a data plan, no iPhone.  I asked about all the other phones, but nothing seemed to make sense and be cost-effective.  Plus, I did eventually want an iPhone, I just wasn't ready to pay for it now. 

I'm trying not to spend money, universe, I'm trying.  I got an iPhone (a 4, not a 4s, sorry Siri) begrudgingly.  I just wanted that phone in my hand so I could check my voicemail.  But then the guy explained that when you upgrade to an iPhone, all voicemails you may have received in the interim are lost.  SAY THAT AGAIN ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I NEED A JOB SO I CAN PAY FOR THIS PHONE YOU ARE TOTALLY RUINING MY LIFE.

I spent the remainder of the afternoon e-mailing all of the jobs I've sent application materials to see if maybe you called me today, so sorry I missed you, I upgraded to an iPhone you see, also you're pretty, and did you call?  No?  Soon maybe?  Awesome. 

Upon news of my purchase, Joe informed me that getting the 4 was so silly because don't I know the 5 is coming out soon?  Yet he remains unstabbed.  That's how real our love is.