Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I Am Horrified Anew

Hold on a second. I have to get ahold of myself. Deep breaths. Going to my calm place. Okay. So, remember this? And then this? Shortly after that second post the maintenance guy came by (because we finally called him) and he set traps behind the dishwasher and washing machine, put steel wool in the the little cracks and cubby holes around the kitchen, and we have happily not seen Mickey since. I will now refer to those four blissful months as the Period of Calm. That time is over. Tonight...well tonight, I saw something no person shoud have to see. Ever. I was walking towards the kitchen from the hallway that leads to our bedrooms and something caught my eye. I saw a glimpse of tail disappearing INTO MY STOVE. What are you talking about, Christina? How can that be? I thought you might ask these questions so I have prepared an illustrated diagram which demonstrates where the mouse disappeared and my feelings thereupon (please note: this is an artist's rendering and is not my actual stove):

I just stood there in shock, unable to utter the appropriate and fitting loud shrieks because Lauren had already gone to bed. I stared at the stove, unsure of what to do. Then I saw a tiny little head poke out from under that little overhang on the stove where I'd just seen the tail disappear and it saw me and darted back in. I continued to stand and stare, dumbfounded and disturbed. THEN, I saw a little head poke out from UNDER the stove on the floor. I am assuming for the sake of my sanity that it was the same mouse. Again, mouse saw me and darted back under. This was repeated twice more before I gathered my wits, turned off the lights, ran to my room and stuffed a towel in the crack under my bedroom door. Then I left a very descriptive and possibly high-pitched voicemail for the property manager. I am currently in my bed groaning and whimpering a lot. Why is this happening to me? How can I made amends for whatever karmic upheaval I have caused? How can I explain to others my position on being anti-animal cruelty while still wanting my entire kitchen to be filled with cruel traps and poisons and mouse-sized land mines? Life is so complicated. I just want my innocence back.

But on the bright side, since my birthday, Christmas, the New Year, a fabulous trip to San Diego, school starting back up, and getting a promotion at work couldn't eek a blog post out of me, having my world shaken up by a tiny rodent apparently does the trick.