Death Trap

Traditionally, this is the time of the year I pull the electric blanket down from my closet shelf, plug it in, set it on high, and snuggle under it, while in the back of my mind praying I don't die from electrocution. There seems something so wrong with wrapping yourself in a cloak of electricity. And truly I'm probably overreacting and precautions have been taken by the manufacturer and the amount of electricity coursing around my body is actually very small and there's little to no risk. But since I just found out my beloved Equal packets that I use everyday to sweeten my coffee, tea, and just about everything, are probably killing me, I'm on a bit of a high alert. (WHY, Equal? We were such good friends! I thought it was just Sweet 'n' Low that was bad! Oh, and Splenda is also killing you slowly for those all high and mighty about the Splenda. Sigh.)

So I'm very careful about the electric blanket usage and I only use it when I'm freezing or just cannot get my feet warm enough to be able to sleep, which this time of year is pretty much every night. I lay it out under my comforter and top sheet, set it on high, and then pull the covers back over it about 30 minutes before I go to bed. Then, when I crawl into bed it's all toasty warm and I bask in the warmness for a bit before turning it off and unplugging it, so as to eliminate the risk of being electrocuted or set on fire in my sleep, because that just seems like it would be highly unpleasant. I thought I was being very careful and smart. Until the last two mornings when I have somehow managed to wake up with the electrical cord wrapped several times around either my torso or some appendage. I suppose from tossing and turning in my sleep, the blanket gets tossed around and somehow the cord manages to try to kill me.

So basically, what I'm trying to say, is my electric blanket has turned python and death is probably imminent. I read the warning very carefully and there's nothing on it about strangulation. Fools. What's a girl gotta do to stay warm AND alive in this weather? It seems so unfair to have to choose only one.