Thursday, September 10, 2009

I Think Someone's Pissed

On my last birthday before my grandma passed away, she gave me a sweet little figurine of a woman with angel wings hugging a little girl. It's musical and when you wind it up it plays "Wind Beneath My Wings." As you can imagine, after my grandma died, it became one of my most treasured possessions. This morning I was opening a perfume bottle and somehow the bottle flew out of my hand and smashed into the figurine, completely decapitating the little girl the angel was holding.

I am not as in hysterics and devastated as you might expect after this accident because the break is completely fixable and with some super glue, Angel Grandma and I are good as new.

However, this was such a freak occurrence that I cannot help but wonder why this happened. All I was doing was uncorking a perfume bottle when the entire bottle went flying out my hand. And instead of smashing the figurine all to bits or knocking it over, it just cleanly took my head off. I think my very conservative Grandma and Paw-Paw are trying to tell me something. And I think it could possibly, maybe, probably have something to do with the fact that their granddaughter tweets now. And she uses that power for evil:

Aw, snap! Booyah! Shortly after that tweet, he apologized. I'm not saying the two events are related but they probably are.

So I think Grandma and Paw-Paw are pissed. I may have also tweeted the White House and told them I was grateful and proud of my President. Good thing they're dead because that might have killed them. And the next morning my head was cleanly taken off in a freak perfume bottle accident. Coincidence?

I think I'm going to tweet Bill O'Reilly and tell him he has a lovely speaking voice before this thing escalates any further.