Musings From the Road

Another 12 hours in the car. Actually, 13 1/2 because I hit traffic somewhere around Baltimore and also went on a meandering and unplanned detour in search of a Chik-Fil-A which called to me on a highway sign only to be most rudely and discourteously not where it promised to be, meaning I had to find another Chik-Fil-A because the highway sign had spoken right to my belly and she refused to settle for anything else. My belly is very stubborn and there's no reasoning with her when she has her mind set. Believe me, I tried. Robert, my navigation system, and my belly had it out over that Chik-Fil-A. It got very heated. It went something like this:

Robert: "Make a U-turn, if possible."

Belly: "Must find Chik-Fil-A."

Robert: "Make a U-turn, if possible."

Belly: "There are no chicken nuggets in that direction."

Robert: "RECALCULATING. RECALCULATING."

Belly: "Listen, you fake-British-accent-using pompous ass, why don't you make yourself useful and point me towards the waffle fries? Otherwise, shut the hell up."

Robert: "Make a U-turn, if possible."

Belly: "Your mother's a whore."

Robert won. My belly sulked for several exits.

Somewhere in Virginia, I got really deep and decided that people probably drive a lot like they go through life. Some are overly aggressive, while others ramble slowly along, oblivious to people whizzing past. Some are in a hurry with a very clear purpose and idea of where they're going while others are just drifting along with no particular destination in mind. Some courteously move out of your way while others insist upon getting right up on your ass before passing you by and then cutting you off. I applied this theory to myself and realized I drive steadily and conscientiously with random bouts of profanity. Yep, seems about right.

I got home finally, took a refreshing shower, watched Chelsea Lately with Sparkles (the plants are alive! Thanks, Sparkles!) and am very much looking forward to slipping between sheets I wisely laundered before I left and sleeping in tomorrow in my own bed.