Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Not All They're Cracked Up To Be

There are few things I hate more in this world than bra shopping.  It is a painful, uncomfortable nightmare wherein I usually spend close to an hour trying on 20+ bras only to end up in tears with my torso covered in red welts and scratches from the twisting, pulling, and yanking required to make those suckers fit.  The problem is that most of the world still believes that the only sizes necessary are A-D and beyond that, DD is one size fits all.  I am here to tell you firsthand that that shit ain't true.

The bras that do fit look like they were designed by someone with an industrial engineering degree rather than someone with a single ounce of style.  It has always cracked me up (through my tears) that big boobs are supposedly synonymous with sexy, but the devices conjured up to actually support the real thing are about as sexy as beige.  Which is apropos because that's all you're going to get.  I've always been jealous of the girls who can walk into Victoria's Secret and buy the rainbow.  Or the girls who have drawers filled with cute bras that they can buy for cheap just for the hell of it.  Those of us who actually need a bra to work for the money have to pay $50-$80 per brassiere for something actually up to the task. 

Finally, more retailers are starting to realize that there's a whole world out there beyond the DD and to design accordingly.  My favorite new brand is N by Natori, and even though there's still not a lot of selection in terms of colors and designs, they're at least comfortable without being painful to look at.  And the cup sizes range from C-H.  If you're smaller than a C...well...what's that like? 

I ordered a single bra.  It came in a box this big.  They're big, people, but they're not that big.  Holy cow.


chickster said...

Funny, because I know somebody out here who works for a bra company that specializes in big cup sizes. You'll be able to buy their products online soon, but in the meantime they have a few stores in NY you could check out : http://www.empreinte.eu/en/retail-stores.php
Happy shopping!

Christina said...

Thanks buddy!