Monday, February 13, 2012


The bar exam is two weeks from tomorrow.  There is light at the end of this ever-constricting tunnel.  I'm in the home stretch, which consists of desperately trying to memorize hundreds of pages of material, feeling like you'll never be able to memorize hundreds of pages of material, and panic over your inability to memorize hundreds of pages of material, followed by tears, and then, eventually, acceptance. 

I will say that I am actually much calmer this time around.  Partly because I've done this successfully before and I know that even if you can't quite memorize hundreds of pages of material, you can still be just fine.  And partly because I remember that euphoric feeling that comes after a bar exam is over and how totally worth it that is.  Plus, this time, that glorious feeling can't be stopped violently in its tracks three days into it upon news that my job offer has been rescinded.  Via e-mail.  Sent on a Saturday night.  At 10 pm.  From someone's phone.  Oh, did I not mention that part?  One day it won't still sting.  I hope. 

One of the fun things about being in the middle of something that is consuming your life is the growing To Do list of things you are going to attend to once that thing is over.  On that list right now:
  1. Deep clean this entire apartment.
  2. Do my taxes.
  3. Go see a movie.
  4. Go get frozen yogurt with Joey.
  5. Watch every single program saved on the DVR back to back to back to back.
  6. Bake something, everything.
  7. Go to the library, check out 17 books, and read for pleasure.
  8. Start looking for jobs in New York (!!)
  9. Go for a long walk.
  10. Resume wedding planning.
  11. Mani/pedi
  12. SLEEP.
Cannot wait.


SG said...

Good luck love! I know you're going to pass!!

chickster said...

Normalcy will return in 14 days. Best of luck in the home stretch and kick ass!