Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Are You Crafty? Wanna Be My Friend? The Offer Stands For the Next 11 Months.

If you read wedding blogs long enough, you'll begin to believe that every bride makes every element of her wedding herself, with the help of her entire family and all her friends who stop everything else going on in their lives to dedicate themselves to making her wedding live up to her vision.  You will begin to believe that there's no way for you to have an inexpensive, beautiful wedding because your friends have lives and your parents are optometrists.

It's not your fault.  It's the blogs.  They all sound like this:

When Oliver proposed to Cassidy, they could only imagine getting married in one place: on the bride's aunt's 18 acre lavender farm in the woods.  The bride's father, a master carpenter, built the reception hall from the ground up using reclaimed wood found on the Montana ranch where the groom grew up.

The bride, a graphic designer, designed the invitation suite herself, while the groom, a musician, composed all the music for the couple's big day.  The groom's step-sister, a classical harpist, played while the bride walked down the aisle in her grandmother's gown, which the groom's mother altered to fit. 

The bride and her bridesmaids spent a year scouring flea markets every weekend to collect the vintage crystalware which adorned every table, and together, they designed, made from clay, and kiln-fired the dessert plates, which were inscribed with the initials of each guest and doubled as favors! 

The bride's second cousin, a world-class caterer provided the food and wedding cake as a wedding gift to the couple.   The guests showed up early and hand picked wild lavender to make up the bridal parties' bouquets.  The groom's brother's band provided the music and guests danced until the wee hours on the dance floor hand-hewn by the groom's fraternity brothers. 

"Our wedding was magical," says the bride.  Her advice to brides planning their weddings?  "You absolutely can have a beautiful wedding for $42.50.  Don't be afraid to ask your friends and family to help!"

Good for Cassidy.  She can suck it.

Weekend before last, I went to a make your own wedding invitation workshop at a local stationery store.  Halfway through learning to heat emboss at home and using paper punches and tying bows, I realized something: I am not crafty.  I am so, so not crafty. 

And I don't know any crafty people.  If you save cardboard coffee sleeves so you can make something with them later, we are probably not friends.  Which I am now realizing is my loss and not yours, because I bet you could have used those to make me a gazebo.


Kelsey said...

Hahaha. Yeah, I'm not crafty either (can we still be friends?)... all I have to say is, outsource that shit and don't give it another thought. You can still have an affordable wedding, you just have to shop smart. Good luck :-)

SG said...

Well, I think in the next 11 months our gang could drink enough beer to make a beautiful "bud light" gazebo a matching chairs, a la 'my big fat redneck wedding.' It's all about recognizing your skills :)

(ps. i still think Kel should raid the safe)