Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Today is Not a Good Day

I do not feel well and I have been under the covers all day, missing three classes, and feeling like a total waste of life. As much as I love a day or class off, when I don't go, I feel like a lazy slacker who isn't living up to her potential. But today my stomach hurts and I feel a little feverish and my mood is very melancholy and unpleasant.

When I was little and I would display my astounding ability to cop an attitude and make my intention to ruin everyone's day quite clear, my mom would finally become exasperated and remind me, "you know, you can choose your mood. You don't have to be miserable." And I, ever so clever, would retort, "THIS IS WHAT I CHOOSE." By some miracle, I was never smacked. She would just walk away, sighing.

Even though I know wallowing in self-pity and melancholia is pathetic and unnecessary and probably insulting to people with actual problems, every once in a while, the feelings overtake you. Maybe it's hormones, maybe it's life, maybe it's a choice. But today, I just feel like poop. Physical and mental and emotional poop.

So I am going to give myself one more hour. Then I will shower, take something for my hurting tummy and possible fever, and then try to do something productive. Or I might take my blanket and pillow to the couch and see what Oprah has to say today. And feel better tomorrow.

Update: Allow me to tell you a story that begins with me sitting on the potty, as most great stories do. I am sitting there and spy a little black ant crawling on the white tile. "Huh. That's the first time I've ever seen a bug in this bathroom. Hello, little ant. That's weird, there's another one. Wait, there's another one." Then my eyes focus and I suddenly see dozens of little black ants crawling all over my floor. You know what can really thwart the efforts a well-meaning person trying to create a better mood? A BATHROOM FULL OF FUCKING ANTS! With no bug spray, I sprayed bleach everywhere and mopped the suckers up and then rinsed the mop out in the tub. Rinse and repeat. The maintenance guy has been here and sprayed bug spray and the exterminator will be here later this week because apparently lots of people have ants cause you know, "the weather is changing." And warm weather brings bug. Yet another reason to hate warmer weather. I win. Yet lose. Oh, and I'm still in a wretched, wretched mood. Sorry, mom.


D&D said...

i lived with mice in my walls. i heard them scratching to get out at night behind my head.


C said...

Laura, my love, perhaps you have not seen the post about my friend Mickey and his great love for darting in and out of my stove. (http://thelovesome.blogspot.com/2010/01/i-am-horrified-anew.html) I would pay him to stay in the wall! Visible Mickey + ants = about all I can take.

SG said...

Wow, this reminds me of when you had that massive cockroach in your room junior year and for some reason, you called me to help you kill it. I know we didnt catch it, although I do believe Joe was laughing his ass off at us since the phone was on speaker.