Lovesome

2012-02-20T08:00:00.000-05:00

Last week we got a letter under the door reminding us that next month we have to give our 90 day notice if we intend to move out. Our lease is up in June. I am very, very excited about this. We only renewed last June because I thought I had a job just 3 miles away. When that fell through shortly thereafter, I felt a bit trapped. Suddenly we were committed to living here for another year but without knowing if I'd be able to find a job here. I went from loving this apartment to hating that I was stuck here. I'm ready to move on and to have it be my choice.

I have lived in this apartment complex for 4 years. Two years with a roomie, almost one year by myself, and one year with Joe. Time to go. Knowing that the end is near, I have been dreaming about our next place. My dreams are pretty small.

I would love to have two bedrooms and two bathrooms. I would settle for a den or bonus room of some sort and just an extra half-bath. I am dying for a proper pantry, even a small one. Not having to give up valuable cabinet space or stack things on top of the fridge sounds like heaven. I would also very much like to have more than one drawer. Our kitchen has one drawer. I do not know how I have survived. I would like at least three drawers, please.

A washer/dryer. Such luxury. I am so over hording quarters. Not having neighbors upstairs who complain every time we fire up the barbecue. A little bit of yard space. A garage or covered parking. That seems like it may be pushing it.

And if all of this could be in New York state, that would be really, really nice.

It's very unlike me to wish for summer because it's a miserable season I prefer to avoid at all costs, but if May could bring finding out I passed the NY bar exam, and if June could mean finally making the move to New York, and if somewhere in there a job in New York comes my way, then I promise not to complain about the humidity. Deal?

Bitch Ruins Everything

2012-02-15T08:00:00.000-05:00

....and then she ate it.

....and now they're up there.

Happy Love Day

2012-02-14T08:00:00.000-05:00

This has been making the rounds, I know, but I think it's especially apropos today.

To me, it's about so much more than the obvious. It is everything that is remarkable, powerful, and extraordinary about love.

Love of a parent for a child.

The bursting love that this daughter must have for her mama right now.

Love of fellow human beings.

Love that triumphs over politics and fear and misunderstanding and misperception.

Love just love.

More, please.

Almost

2012-02-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

The bar exam is two weeks from tomorrow. There is light at the end of this ever-constricting tunnel. I'm in the home stretch, which consists of desperately trying to memorize hundreds of pages of material, feeling like you'll never be able to memorize hundreds of pages of material, and panic over your inability to memorize hundreds of pages of material, followed by tears, and then, eventually, acceptance.

I will say that I am actually much calmer this time around. Partly because I've done this successfully before and I know that even if you can't quite memorize hundreds of pages of material, you can still be just fine. And partly because I remember that euphoric feeling that comes after a bar exam is over and how totally worth it that is. Plus, this time, that glorious feeling can't be stopped violently in its tracks three days into it upon news that my job offer has been rescinded. Via e-mail. Sent on a Saturday night. At 10 pm. From someone's phone. Oh, did I not mention that part? One day it won't still sting. I hope.

One of the fun things about being in the middle of something that is consuming your life is the growing To Do list of things you are going to attend to once that thing is over. On that list right now:

Deep clean this entire apartment.
Do my taxes.
Go see a movie.
Go get frozen yogurt with Joey.
Watch every single program saved on the DVR back to back to back to back.
Bake something, everything.
Go to the library, check out 17 books, and read for pleasure.
Start looking for jobs in New York (!!)
Go for a long walk.
Resume wedding planning.
Mani/pedi
SLEEP.

Cannot wait.

Put Them on The List

2012-02-08T08:00:00.000-05:00

I have been obsessed with these Jonathan Adler letter pillows since I first spied them on an episode of Giuliana & Bill. I loved that they had a "G," "B," and "R" around their living room as a fun play on their monogram.

Here's hoping one day I think paying $110 for a single pillow is totally reasonable.

If It Ain't One Thing, It's Another

2012-02-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

I have always known my heart rate was too fast. Whenever I hooked myself up to one of those drug store blood pressure machines, it always told me my heart was beating too fast. I got one of those watch heart monitors for workouts years ago, and it was not uncommon for my resting heart rate to be over 100. Seventy-two is normal. It shoots up to 180 when I'm on the elliptical like it's nothing. So I knew something was up, but I never got it checked out. Whenever I had physicals, they always told me my heart rate was normal on that day, and I never raised the alarm.

Starting some time last Fall though, I began to get nervous. I was having pretty regular palpitations. Sometimes it felt like my heart was racing for no reason. Or that it was skipping a beat, even when I was being still. I chalked it up to all the travel. The stress of the last year. The fact that I'd gained some weight. But I was scared enough to talk to my parents and make an appointment with my dad's cardiologist while I was with them in Dallas for Thanksgiving.

They hooked me up to all the monitors and stuck those electrodes everywhere. Put me on the treadmill. Do you know you can't wear a sports bra while you're doing that? No one wins if my heart is fine but I take my own eye out, is all I'm saying. The technician said my heart was healthy. Everything looked fine. No arrhythmia, a steady beat. Except that my heart rate was very fast.

The doctor came in after looking everything over and started asking questions. He took my resting heart rate and then he asked me to stand up. He took my heart rate again. Just standing up made it spike like crazy. Then he diagnosed me with postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS).

Basically, it means that when you change position, like going from sitting to standing, you experience an abnormally large increase in heart rate. My body, apparently, struggles to maintain homeostasis while I try to navigate myself through the day. For some people, it's very debilitating. They can't do anything without becoming dizzy or without their heart rate increasing so much that they can barely function. Luckily, I've never been anywhere near that bad, and have no reason to expect to be.

The doctor told me it's actually more of a kidney problem than a heart problem. My kidneys don't hold on to potassium and salt and all those good things your body needs like they should. My kidneys were very dehydrated as a result. When one organ isn't working like it should, the others, especially the heart, have to work harder to keep everything in balance, and it has to work even harder to keep everything going where it's supposed to when I get up, stand up, and whatnot. Water doesn't help. I used to guzzle water, but would just feel bloated and sluggish. Water doesn't replenish salt and potassium; it just makes you go to the bathroom. And every time I did, my kidneys gave up more stuff they needed and I wasn't putting enough back. So I need to be drinking Gatorade or Propel or something that will put back some of that good stuff, and not just flush it out.

There are about 4 different medications I was told I could try, but I wasn't put on any of them, which I very much appreciate. We think I can treat it by hydrating properly and by being aware that stress and caffeine (motherfucker) make it worse. My heart is fine, my kidneys are fine - no permanent damage done. Just something to be aware of.

I'm relieved that I know what's wrong and that I can fix it without anything major or scary. I was really scared for a bit there.

So now here's the problem.

Don't even get me started on my plastic bottle guilt.

Gatorade. I've been drinking 2-3 bottles a day. Gatorade has a shit ton of calories in it, so I buy the low calorie kind. I swap calories for sucralose. I know nothing definitive has been proven, but pumping your body with that much artificial sweetener can't be good. It scares me. I'm going to have to be drinking this stuff for the rest of my life most likely. I really want to find a low calorie, all-natural option that has a similar potassium and sodium content. And if it doesn't cost $5/bottle, that would be even better.

Any ideas? So far, the only one that seems like it might do is SoBe Lean Machine Lifewater. It's 0 calories and sweetened with stevia and erythritol, which are both natural. It's also like $20 for a 12 pack. Yikes. Are there really no low-calorie all-natural fitness drinks that are affordable? That can't be right. Your help, please.

Lastly, if you think something is wrong, trust your instincts and don't be stupid like me. Go get it checked out. Go. Now, preferably. I'll hold your hand.

Odds & Ends

2012-02-06T08:00:00.000-05:00

I am out of ideas for my hair. I think it's time for a major change, but when you're dealing with thick and curly, it's kind of hard to do too much. Short would mean some major 13-year-old Jewish boy 'fro action and straightening every morning is just way too time consuming. I go to a salon that specializes in curly hair, but hair cuts don't seem to make much difference, no matter how much I tell them to tame it. Case in point:

Pre-hair cut:

A few weeks post hair cut:

I am smizing so hard, you guys.

Do you see the difference? I pay $75 for subtlety apparently. Also, do you see how my eyebrows are completely asymmetrical? I don't know what to do about that either. Sometimes when I'm sitting across the table from Joe at dinner, I think he's staring into my eyes and that he's about to say something profound, something that will touch me deep inside my soul, and then he says, "they're still uneven," and then I throw a forkful of food at him and he pays for dinner.

Speaking of Joe, he and Lily will be home tomorrow. I'm ready. I enjoyed the quiet and got a ton of work done last week, but I miss my family. Even if Lily coming back means having regular heart attacks. Do you have any idea what it's like to go to the bathroom, do your business, stand up, wash your hands, and not notice this until you're on your way out the door?

Pervert.

Luckily, she's also a lot of fun.

Hide and go seek. She's it.

And lastly, LET'S GO G! I have a very happy fiance coming home tomorrow.

(The Saints are still my first love, Dad, don't worry.)

They Prey on the Weak

2012-02-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

Girl Scouts came to the door. With cookies. A hostile act. I bought three boxes.

*************An Hour Later*************

I only eat one cookie. I decide to put the rest in the freezer to keep them fresh until Joe comes home next week and to keep myself from eating all the cookies.

**************An Hour Later*************

I discover Girl Scout cookies are delicious frozen.

Damn you, Girl Scouts!

A Public Service Message

2012-02-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

There's this radio commercial that's been playing constantly lately. It advises guys of the availability of the "perfect" Valentine's Day gift. The gift that every woman wants. She will love you if you buy this. You'll probably get some if you buy it. It's a rose. Dipped in 24 karat gold.

I don't make a habit of making myself the spokesperson for all women because it's a very presumptuous thing to do, but in this rare case I think I can safely speak for all of us when I say, hi, we don't want that. We have never wanted that. Do not buy that. Ever.

Think it through, boys. What the hell would we do with that? Put it in a vase? Put it on display? You just gave us a 24 karat dust collector.

This strikes me as such a man thing to come up with (respectfully). She wants flowers. She wants jewelry. Is there some way to make that simpler? And could I preferably get it at one store? Is there some way I could appear romantic and thoughtful while in reality putting no thought into this whatsoever? A rose dipped in 24 karat gold is the obvious solution.

I think the intention is that your man buys you one every year until you have a 24 karat gold rose bouquet. That you have to keep. Forever. Ladies, to get a full bouquet will take 12 years. It's like you broke a mirror so now you get 12 years of gold roses.

Fresh flowers. Breakfast in bed. Maybe jewelry if you know what your girl likes. They're classics for a reason. Or hell, let's just eat dinner with the TV off. And then, if you really want to kick it up a notch, try kissing us for more than 30 seconds without groping anything. Now that's romance. It really can be that easy.

(While we're on the topic, a quick note: there is not a single woman on the planet who has thought to herself MY GOD YES! as a result of an unsolicited boob grab. Not a single one. Okay, I lied. There are maybe two. But none of the rest of us are friends with them. And they're both taken. (No. You didn't get one.))

Also? We don't want stuffed animals either. We're adults. Thank you.

My New Favorite Thing

2012-01-31T08:00:00.000-05:00

1) Take a fruit popsicle - whatever flavor floats your boat.

2) Squeeze juice from one lemon or lime.

3) Cut top off popsicle wrapper on stick end.

4) Pour lemon/lime juice into the wrapper until the juice comes to the top of the popsicle.

5) Put it back in freezer propped up so the juice doesn't spill.

6) Wait one hour.

7) Enjoy a delicious frozen sweet and sour treat.

I would like to eat eight, please.

It's Amazing How Quickly I Am Rendered Completely Helpless

2012-01-30T08:00:00.000-05:00

Joe is in New York this week and he took Lily with him. I'm at work all day and when I'm home I'm busy studying, so we figured she'd have more fun staying with Joe's dad (Grandpa Phil!) and playing with his cat than being home alone all day and ignored. Also, I haven't been the one to empty the litter box since we got her and I prefer to keep it that way.

I felt a little guilty the day before they left though, like maybe I should let her stay in her home and just make time for her. But then I woke up Saturday morning to her chewing on my hair and I was all, um, hi, yeah, take her. Mommy loves you very much but you have to go now. I am a terrible person.

The timing of this trip was sort of strategic. My stress levels mean I'm unpleasant to live with and we've been picking at each other more than normal. Plus, I'm a bit behind on my bar prep and a week of quiet and no one in the house means I can hopefully refocus.

He was gone for a few hours and I was very much enjoying the complete quiet. Then I got hungry. And I realized that for the first time in weeks I was going to have to do the grocery shopping, cook, and clean for myself. Isn't that some bullshit? He could have at least prepared a week's worth of meals in advance and left them in the fridge. Not cool, Joe, not cool.

I had scrambled eggs and a popsicle for dinner last night following 8 hours of straight bar prep lectures. It's going to be a long week.

Oh, This Brings Me Back

2012-01-26T08:00:00.000-05:00

Now Would Not Be The Time To Remind Me That I Brought This On Myself

2012-01-25T08:00:00.000-05:00

Lately, whenever someone dear to me asks me how I am, I tell them. And then I start to cry. Tears come often with complete disregard for the fact that they have not been invited to the party. They are very sneaky. Sometimes I start a conversation fully intending for it to be a completely normal conversation and by the end of it? Tears. Streaming down my face. But all this anxiety and stress and frustration and effort means that I've lost 3 pounds this week. So that's lose/win. BRIGHT SIDE. Found it.

Anyway, I have come to a realization that probably seemed obvious to everyone else ages ago, which is that I can't do everything all at once. I don't have the time in a day, or the ability to be rational, or the ability to be emotionally stable for long periods of time without sleep. All of which are required to work full-time, study for the bar, and make wedding decisions. The only one of those I can cut is the wedding thing. So it's gotta go.

I am putting a moratorium on all decisions until March. And if that means that the perfect venue gets booked through 2015 or that my target date gets taken by some other couple or that the photographer I love becomes unavailable, then so be it. It just will not have been meant to be. I have apologized to too many people for my current utter inability to make decisions, or think things through, or reach logical conclusions. Right now, I cannot deal.

Do you know what else I'm going to do in March? Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Forever and ever and ever and ever. I am going to sleep so hard. Come April, don't even ask me what happened in March. I missed it. I was asleep.

March 1, people. Mark your calendars. The day you can ask me how I am and not be washed away.

It Goes Both Ways

2012-01-24T08:00:00.000-05:00

me: So how long do you think before George Clooney and Stacy Keibler break up?

Joe: I don't know. How long have they been together now? Four years?

me: Uh, no.

Joe: Five years?

me: More like 4 or 5 months.

Joe: No! Are you sure?

me: Of course.

Joe: No! For real?

me: We're done with this conversation.

*******

me: Do you think a truck could actually snowboard?

Joe: No, of course not.

me: What if you put sled things for the wheels?

Joe: How would you stop?

me: The brakes?

Joe: No.

me: Throw an anchor out the back?

Joe: Stop talking.

Lily's First Snow!

2012-01-23T08:00:00.000-05:00

We let her out on the balcony. She walked through it. Did two sort of jump-y leap-y maneuvers. Then she tried to crawl under the railing and hurl herself off the balcony. I guess snow isn't for everybody. She's too big to fit under the railing now, so no real harm done.

We've also begun to realize that she either has no idea what her name is or she could give two shits that we're trying to call her. So we've started trying other names to see if she likes them better. So far, Steve, Raymond, Georgette, Beverly, Brumhilda, and Anne all elicit no response whatsoever.

There was one horrifying moment when she lifted her head and looked at us when Joe called her Reginald, but I'm hopeful it was just a fluke.

Two Completely Random Unrelated Things of No Importance Whatsoever

2012-01-20T08:00:00.000-05:00

1) Do anyone else's toes/feet fall asleep or go numb on the elliptical? I had a trainer once (yep, that one) who told me it's because your feet are stationary when you're on the elliptical machine so your body prioritizes pumping blood to the body parts that are moving and working and seem to need it the most. This makes plausible sense to me, but I just wanted to check because it also totally seems like something that happens right before you have a stroke, so, you know, just checking. I have a deep-rooted and very real fear of humiliating myself at the gym. Which is also why I don't use half the stuff in there. Every second I spend standing there trying to decipher what the hell those stick figures are doing in that little picture, and in what order, I can feel more and more eyes on me and you know they're all thinking that I don't know what I'm doing. Then I get so anxious about the people, the people looking and thinking, that my brain panics and the pictures make no sense and I don't feel the burn where I'm supposed to feel the burn and I'm 99.99% sure I'm doing it wrong, so now all the people looking and thinking know that they're right and I am mortified. So if you could get back to me about the stroke thing, that would be one less thing to worry about.

2) The weather report for the next three days calls for "partly sunny," "times of clouds and sun," and my favorite, "some sun, then clouds." So there will be clouds. There will be sun. They will happen at roughly the same time during the daylight hours. This has been communicated to you now three different ways. What don't you f-ing get? Does anyone else think the weather report is kind of being a passive aggressive asshole here? No? Just me?

I might just need sleep.

Congratulations, My Friend

2012-01-19T14:00:00.000-05:00

The thing about monumental moments is that the world keeps on spinning in inexplicable fashion while you're having one. It's just a Tuesday, but somewhere someone is becoming a Mama for the first time. It's just a Saturday, but somewhere a soldier is stepping off a plane into her family's arms. It's just a Wednesday, but you got that long-awaited phone call and everything is going to be okay.

Today is just a Thursday, but my friend Lauren and her Bill are getting married today at Manhattan's City Hall. People will be at work, the city will be a blur, and the world will still be spinning, but Lauren is going to stand still, hold her love's hands in the middle of this day, say her vows, hear them said to her. There's something so beautiful, romantic, and perfect about that.

Bill's job is sending him to London very soon and they need to make it legal for visa purposes. They'll be coming back and doing the "real" wedding in the Fall.

But today, this day, begins their marriage, their lives and adventures together. Today is not just a Thursday.

I'm so over the moon for you, Whits.

Happy Thursday.

It's About My Cat Again

2012-01-19T08:00:00.000-05:00

I didn't have the heart to tell her she wasn't going. She's probably still in there.

Joe tried to go get her but I stopped him. "No. She has to learn."* We're raising her Montessori.

By the time you realize the toilet paper is gone, it's usually too late.

*No cats were harmed in the making of this post.

We Need To Talk

2012-01-18T08:00:00.000-05:00

Let's see, what to talk about? Studying for the bar exam? Wedding planning? Bar exam? My wedding? Or the bar exam? Or my wedding? We could mix it up. How about Joe? Or our cat?

Yesterday, Joe and I had a fight. A pretty big fight, that led to me storming out of the house. I'm a bit tightly wound these days, you see. Because of studying for the bar exam. And planning my wedding. (Have I mentioned...?) So I stormed out, slammed the door, and went to the gym. I'm taking full credit for such healthy channeling of my anger, though it's mostly just because all the bakeries and ice cream shops are closed after 9 pm.

The main point of this fight, and all you really need to know, is that I was right. And also that a person who is working this hard can only live with someone who gets to come home, put on sweatpants, and watch TV while eating a bowl of cereal on the couch for so long before that person wants to make the other as equally miserable and stressed as she is. Because we're a team.

I came home, did not make eye contact in order to communicate that I was still mad, put my things away, walked into the living room to get something I did not need so as to pointedly not make eye contact in order to communicate that, no really, I'm still mad, and then I took a shower. Afterwards, I sat down next to him on the couch and I said I was sorry. Even though I was right. Because that's the kind of rising above it person that I am, you guys.

We had a nice long talk about what we need from each other right now, how we can communicate better so the other one hears the important things, and how we could both work on not pissing me off. Then:

Joe: Let's be friends again.

me [my voice muffled from burying my face in his shoulder]: Okay. So while you're all sharing and caring and vulnerable and feeling-y, can I ask you a question and you try your best to really, really think about it and give me an honest, thoughtful answer?

Joe: Sure.

me: You seriously have no preference about which wedding venue we book?

Joe: Awww, hon. No. No, I don't.

Now here's a picture of our cat sleeping adorably:

Are You Crafty? Wanna Be My Friend? The Offer Stands For the Next 11 Months.

2012-01-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

If you read wedding blogs long enough, you'll begin to believe that every bride makes every element of her wedding herself, with the help of her entire family and all her friends who stop everything else going on in their lives to dedicate themselves to making her wedding live up to her vision. You will begin to believe that there's no way for you to have an inexpensive, beautiful wedding because your friends have lives and your parents are optometrists.

It's not your fault. It's the blogs. They all sound like this:

When Oliver proposed to Cassidy, they could only imagine getting married in one place: on the bride's aunt's 18 acre lavender farm in the woods. The bride's father, a master carpenter, built the reception hall from the ground up using reclaimed wood found on the Montana ranch where the groom grew up.

The bride, a graphic designer, designed the invitation suite herself, while the groom, a musician, composed all the music for the couple's big day. The groom's step-sister, a classical harpist, played while the bride walked down the aisle in her grandmother's gown, which the groom's mother altered to fit.

The bride and her bridesmaids spent a year scouring flea markets every weekend to collect the vintage crystalware which adorned every table, and together, they designed, made from clay, and kiln-fired the dessert plates, which were inscribed with the initials of each guest and doubled as favors!

The bride's second cousin, a world-class caterer provided the food and wedding cake as a wedding gift to the couple. The guests showed up early and hand picked wild lavender to make up the bridal parties' bouquets. The groom's brother's band provided the music and guests danced until the wee hours on the dance floor hand-hewn by the groom's fraternity brothers.

"Our wedding was magical," says the bride. Her advice to brides planning their weddings? "You absolutely can have a beautiful wedding for $42.50. Don't be afraid to ask your friends and family to help!"

Good for Cassidy. She can suck it.

Weekend before last, I went to a make your own wedding invitation workshop at a local stationery store. Halfway through learning to heat emboss at home and using paper punches and tying bows, I realized something: I am not crafty. I am so, so not crafty.

And I don't know any crafty people. If you save cardboard coffee sleeves so you can make something with them later, we are probably not friends. Which I am now realizing is my loss and not yours, because I bet you could have used those to make me a gazebo.

To Sara

2012-01-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

Today is my friend Sara's birthday. Sara and I met in college and she is one of my favorite people in the whole world. She's the only person I know who agrees with me that Steel Magnolias is one of the best movies of all time, and we are both so right about that. She also gets all my Southern-isms when no one else up here does, including what it means when I say "bless his heart" and knowing the fundamental difference between a barbecue and a cook-out.

We found each other while surrounded by yankees, and it has been clear from the beginning that we were meant to be kindred spirits. Which is reinforced every time we are out and about and catch each other's eye and know exactly what the other one is thinking. And who it's about.

Whenever something significant happens, good or bad, or even if she just senses I need a smile, I get a hand-written card in the mail that always says exactly what I need to hear. She's the only person I know with whom I truly have to keep up my correspondence. I love it.

She could live on Diet Coke and McDonald's for the rest of her days, she never lets us leave a bar without playing AC/DC on the jukebox, she has a signature giggle, she's crazy smart and wickedly funny, and has the biggest heart, and yet if you cross one of her friends she will cut a bitch.

She deserves a birthday and a year filled with light and magic and happy and love. That's my wish for you, my lovey, today and always.

Happy birthday.

This Is All I Got

2012-01-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

Healthy versions of two very unhealthy things, which I can highly recommend:

Sweet and Sour Chicken and Chicken Zucchini Alfredo.

I don't have pictures because I don't do the cooking anymore.

These dishes are brought to me, set down next to the computer screen, and I eat while continuing to type lecture notes between bites. Then the empty plates are whisked away.

It's like magic.

New Normal

2012-01-10T08:00:00.000-05:00

I changed my hours at work from 9-5 to 8-4 as a sneaky way to squeeze an extra hour out of my over-packed days. Thorough bar prep requires 5-8 hours of study per day (hahaha), which entails watching 3-4 hours worth of lectures and then doing 4-5 hours of study/homework. Outside of bar prep, I work 8 hour days. So basically, I'm supposed to do 16 hours of work a day.

So far, I've just been pretty proud of myself that I'm completely up-to-date on the daily lectures, with some finished homework scattered here and there. The way these things go, you stay behind the whole time, but somehow, some way, it all comes together in the end. In my experience, no matter how much you prepare, panic at the end is inevitable anyway.

This time around, I'm reminding myself the pressure is off. I'm doing this one for me. I've already done this once successfully and I can do it again. I am starting to realize why New York is notoriously one of the hardest bars to pass, though. Holy New York distinctions is all I'm saying.

To help, Joe has taken over all the cooking. I make the menus for the week, provide recipes, write out the shopping list and hand it over. He does the weekly shopping, makes my lunches every day, cooks dinner every night, and cleans up after. You guys, I'm totally going to marry him.

My goals this week: get in some gym time and go to bed earlier. Easy peasy. Right?

In other news, Lily has learned to fetch, which, when a cat does it, is fricken hilarious. She gets her favorite toy, brings it to us and drops it. We pick it up, throw it, and she brings it back. I just explained to you how fetch works. I apologize. I'm sort of tired.

Odds & Ends

2012-01-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

I just found an instrumental string quartet version of Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar On Me. Honestly, it's like this wedding is planning itself.

Also? A string quartet tribute to AC/DC's You Shook Me All Night Long (for you, Sara). You know, for the processional. (Just kidding. As if I'd walk down the aisle to anything other than Smack My Bitch Up by Prodigy. Obvi.)

My dear friend Kathryn (of beautiful kitchen and New Orleans fame) gifted me the Burberry fragrance set from my wish list for Christmas and in the box from Sephora were various other perfume samples, including Justin Bieber's Someday. I wore it yesterday out of curiosity, and because I had no plans to leave the house. It smells like 14 year old girl tears. I'm not so sure the people ordering the Burberry fragrance set and the Justin Bieber Someday buyers are in the same demographic, Sephora. I do want JTT to know though that it's not too late. I would still buy, JTT, I would still buy.

The high temperatures over the weekend were in the 50s/60s. I saw people wearing short sleeves. I am very upset. If I wanted mild winters I would move. I want snow, dammit! You call this a winter!? Also, I heckle weather now. So that's new.

And lastly, sweet Jesus, did I need to hear this. I'm bookmarking it in favorites so I can come back to it as need be. Maybe once a month. Maybe every day.

As If I Have Time for Distractions

2012-01-06T08:00:00.000-05:00

My latest obsession? CelebrityNetWorth.com. Type in a name, any name, scroll down, click the link, and reveal his/her net worth. Trivial, a serious waste of time, probably inaccurate, and seriously addictive. I don't care so much about the big time celebs. I know they're rich.

It's learning that Melissa Joan Hart is worth $14 million (explain that, Clarissa), or that Dustin Diamond has $500,000 to his name (sort of surprised it's that much), or that Bob Vila is worth $25 million (hammering all the way to the bank, Bob), or that NeNe Leakes is worth $3.5 million (she's rich, bitch) that I find endlessly fascinating.

And also depressing: Sherri Shepherd is worth $10 million. Let's all exclaim a collective WTF on that one.

I am so in the wrong field.

This Photo = My Life

2012-01-05T08:00:00.000-05:00

via Brooklyn Bride

This Save the Date = genius.

As a quick wedding update, I have a very serious wedding venue contender. I've already negotiated terms I'm comfortable with and all that is waiting is my pull the trigger courage. We will likely be making a final decision by next weekend.

We're planning to look at two more first though. I just feel I would be remiss if I didn't check out at least a couple places in NYC proper (home of my alma mater and where several beloveds currently live). Once we see them and I've fallen in love, and once I've recovered from clutching my pearls over the prices, and once I've walked out loudly whispering to Joe that they can go fuck themselves, and once my mind races with oh what could have been, we will likely call Serious Contender and announce ourselves ready to sign. Unless I waver. I could very well waver. My sanity is not my strongest trait at the moment.

I received this book in the mail today as a gift from Kelsey. A gift that is at once ever so kind, incredibly thoughtful, and entirely necessary. Thanks, Kelsey! I can't wait to feel better. (The book is based on the A Practical Wedding blog. Kelsey's own wedding was featured on the site here. So cool.)

TRUE STORY: Joe just walked into the room, found me writing this blog post instead of listening to my bar prep lecture and before he said a word, I shrieked "I'm being pulled in a lot of different directions! I have a lot of obligations!"

To which he silently walked to the computer, took the mouse, maximized the lecture on the screen, and silently walked out.

This is only Day 3.

I have to go.

Y'all? Shit Just Got Real.

2012-01-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

As has been established, taking one Bar and passing it was not enough. I thought I was done, but apparently not. I just haven't suffered quite enough.

Submitting your application to the New York Bar is one thing. Actually paying for another round of bar prep is yet another.

But expecting Christmas packages in the mail and instead opening said packages to find these instead? Vomit. In my mouth. Hi, reality.

Over the next 8 weeks, I will work full-time, plan a wedding, attempt to whip myself into wedding-dress-trying-on shape, and prepare for the NY bar exam. Because it seemed sane at the time.

This should be fun.

Strangely, There Was No Mention of Hot Dogs or Prince Charming in the Book

2012-01-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

One of my birthday presents from my cousin Kim was this book on weddings and I love it. Super practical and helpful. I couldn't wait to devour all the information. I wasn't the only one.

This is Sophia, Kim's daughter and my 4-year-old wedding consultant.

Her taste level is impeccable. She knows exactly what she wants. So far we agree on all the major points. Though we do disagree about a few details. For instance, when asked what kind of food we should have at the wedding, she said red food. I find that a bit limiting. I'm also not sure if balloons everywhere is the way to go.

She also identified the ballgown as her favorite wedding dress silhouette, except, unlike the drawings shown in the book, mine should be blue. Like Cinderella's.

Hello, 2012.

2012-01-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

You are so pretty and delightful. Gracious and charming. Witty and demure. There are a lot of people with some very high expectations for you. Mainly because your older brother, 2011, had some slightly dickish tendencies.

But not you. You are sweet. Loving. Gentle. So kind are you, that despite the predictions of a certain Mesoamerican civilization who shall remain nameless, you surely will not mark the end of the world on December 21, 2012. Among other very good reasons, it is a mere two days before my birthday. That would just be cruel. That's not your style.

In 2012, I shall marry. I shall pass the New York bar. We might even move to New York, should all go well, and start putting down some permanent roots. I shall embark on a fabulous honeymoon. Perhaps there will be talk of starting a family. Just talk, mind you. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

I will start volunteering. I will try to be a better friend. I will strive to be in the moment and try to stop waiting for my real life to start. I will realize that it already has. I will try to give up the idea that things are supposed to look or feel a certain way in order to be fully enjoyed and just bask in monumental moments for what they are, as they come.

I will start my career. You hear that, 2012? I will start my career.

Help me out, won't you?

Lovesome 2011: That's a Wrap

2011-12-23T10:00:00.000-05:00

I wish you such a Merry Christmas and/or intensely Happy Holidays that you just can't stand it.

Here's to a New Year filled with love, good fortune, knock your socks off kisses, and abundant joy.

And because I don't say it nearly often enough, thank you so much for hanging out with me here. It means more than you know.

Love,
Christina

P.S. Regular programming will resume here Monday, January 2, 2012. See you then.

Happy Birthday To Me

2011-12-23T08:00:00.000-05:00

Today I am 28. I have requested that French Toast made from Challah bread, crispy bacon, and hot coffee be prepared by Joe in my honor.

I'm going to open a present from Joey and open birthday packages that came yesterday from two of my favorite people.

We're going to pack, make a stop at the public library so I can pick some holiday reading material, and then set off for New York. The evening will be spent with my cousins, Kimmy and Laura, two people I adore so much, I can't believe my own amazing luck that we get to be related. Laughing, loving, and likely ordering pizzas.

I can't wait.

Blast From the Past

2011-12-22T08:00:00.001-05:00

Working in the law school admissions office as I do, it was only a matter of time before I set aside the flood of hopeful applications from future lawyers and revisited my own in the archives. I remember the whole process so vividly. All that work and all your hopes and dreams about the future, the anxiety and the vulnerability, compressing your whole life into a few pages, then sending it off for a stranger to judge. It's terrifying yet exhilarating to know you are on the cusp of taking that last step into adulthood, into who you're meant to be. All you need is a yes.

I wrote my law school admission essay about bridging the gap between being an idealist and a realist. It was about going from being an observer to a doer, and arming myself with the tools to make the leap. The essay centered around my experiences in Lesotho, Africa on a 7-week service trip the summer before my senior year and then working at law firm just after graduation. Idealism meets realism.

"When one is committed to social justice causes (like me) and travels through life seeing the world through lenses colored by twin shades of idealism and optimism (like me), the idea of the "real world" is anything but appealing....Nothing helps you get a good solid dose of the real world better than working for corporate attorneys or assisting with family and personal injury law. By taking on that challenge, I faced the real world and found it to not be so scary after all....I have seen how the work attorneys do can impact a client's life by giving a person a sense of empowerment in a situation in which they might otherwise feel helpless. It became clear to me that every time an attorney advocates for a client, no matter how big or small the case, he or she is amplifying a voice that might otherwise have gone unheard, and with that ability comes a remarkable power to create change..."

When I went back to read that essay, I expected to be embarrassed, to cringe a little, the way I usually do when I go back and read something I wrote forever ago. Instead, I was surprised to find I was still proud of it. I poured my heart into it. I wanted law school so badly. I wanted my future already. I still do.

It seems appropriate to me that my essay was about idealism meeting realism. Reality has kicked my ass this year. Graduating from law school and struggling to find a job, not using my degree, is not what I had planned. Being 7 months out and still worrying about money, not being able to relieve my parents of the few things they still pay for on my behalf, not being able to plan for more than 6 months at a time...that was not the plan. It's incredibly frustrating, and yet I'm pretty fortunate to have a job at all, one that I actually enjoy and look forward to every day. I try really hard to find the silver lining and I'm very proud to report I usually succeed. It doesn't remove the sting completely though.

This is what I wrote about 2011 back in 2010:

"I have a good feeling about my 27th year. A really good feeling. Everything is finally going to click and my grown-up life is going to start coming together in a way I've been working towards for a long time. Law school graduation means starting a career and not just having a job. It means settling into being the person I'm supposed to be. It means being done with school forever. No more taking out loans and wondering where my next check is going to come from and having to ask my parents for help. It means I get to stop wondering what I'm going to do next and how I'm going to do it and just start doing."

Pieces of that happened. I don't want to shortchange the good things. Joe moved in. I get to wake up every day next to a man I love. We got engaged. I get to laugh every day. I have an amazing network of lovely people who make me feel loved and adored, and let me know I deserve it.

But that career thing? That nagging last thing that just refuses to fall into place? The biggest hope I had for this year? That one hurts a little. I know I'm not alone in this. I know 2011 has been an incredibly difficult year for a lot of people. I know a lot of people are struggling to redefine their hopes and reshape their futures. I am trying to view this unexpected struggle as an opportunity, for growth and for an examination of what I really want. I am trying to still be the idealist.

Tomorrow I will turn 28. And I will likely spend a bit of time reflecting on 27 and my hopes for 2012. And I will try not to be too frustrated that they are still exactly the same as my hopes for 27 and 2011.

Here's hoping for a 28 and 2012 that is a little more ideal and a little less real. For all of us.

(P.S. - We were incredibly fortunate to have an amazingly talented photographer on the Lesotho trip with us. She still has some fantastic images on her website in Gallery 1, if you would like to take a look.)

Dream Big

2011-12-21T08:00:00.000-05:00

Joe (very sad): I'm going to lose this week. My playoff run is over.

me: But you are winning at life. Doesn't that count for something?

Joe: I wanted the trophy.*

me: Do you really need the trophy?

Joe (sighing): It's just that I was going to take a picture of myself Tebowing with it and put it on Facebook.

His problems are very real, people. Not nearly as valid as mine. My need for a drive-thru Starbucks is all-consuming.

*Last year, Joe and his buddies built a 3.5 foot tall fantasy football trophy which is awarded to the fantasy football league champion. This is, apparently, a very big deal. It really is a shame, because it would have been so awesome to have that in our house.

Catching Up On My Correspondence

2011-12-20T08:00:00.000-05:00

Dear Honda,

If the hybrid battery in my car needs to be replaced (after I just replaced the regular battery) before the car is even paid off and if said battery costs $3000, then that is some serious bullshit. Sure, I can keep driving it as a regular car without the hybrid battery assistance, meaning I will not enjoy hybrid gas mileage, but that means it's not really a hybrid anymore, doesn't it? It's like wearing a pair of Christian Louboutins without the red soles or eating non-dairy ice cream. Sure, it's functional, but it's not really what I paid for, is it? You have got to be kidding me.

With feeling,
Christina

Dear Meter Maid,

It was only two minutes. IT'S MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS!

Affectionately,
Christina

Dear Lily,

GET DOWN!

Kisses,
Christina

Dear Any Starbucks in a 5 Mile Radius,

Put in a drive-thru. It's cold, and I'm in heels. Curbside service would also be acceptable.

Lovingly,
Christina

Odds & Ends

2011-12-19T08:00:00.000-05:00

The joy of blogging is that sometimes when you're otherwise completely uninspired, you'll think to yourself, "I really like ginger ale. Can I get a whole post out of that?" and thank goodness for you guys and for me that I believe the answer to be wholeheartedly no. For right now anyway. If I can think of a new angle, I'm totally running with it.

One of the perks of my current job which did not occur to me before is that when the University is closed, we don't have to show up. I always assumed the administration worked a regular schedule during breaks, taking off just for holidays, but I am delighted to have been wrong. I'm off December 22nd until January 3rd. I'm telling you, if it wasn't for not really using the degree I worked my ass off for and will spend the next 40 years of my life paying for, this job would be perfect. (Actually, I am very much enjoying it, which is creating a serious ongoing dilemma in my brain that I am not ready to address.)

To change the subject, I am seriously over how I am treated on Sundays being directly linked to how well the Giants play and/or how someone's fantasy team is faring. Over it like whoa. The highs and lows are exhausting. It's PMS compressed into 3 hours. One play is the difference between "don't touch me" and "you look pretty today." Dude. You don't see me punching pillows over Top Chef. Suck it up.

We are going to look at 3 more wedding venues in the coming weeks. I really hope one of them is it. The fun and excitement part of it has worn off a bit and now I just want to put down a deposit, pick a date, move on to the next decision, and let it start feeling real.

I cannot get this dress out of my head. Never in a million years would I have described this as a wedding dress possibility, but I sort of love it. Speaking of which, I am going to start whipping my ass into wedding dress shape any day now.

All of my Christmas shopping is done and gifts requiring shipping have been sent. The problem with getting it all done early for me is that I will spend the next several days second guessing everything I have purchased. I will make exchanges and returns only to decide that the first thing is really the best thing after all. I will over-analyze and over-think and ultimately decide the gift isn't quite right or not enough or, horror of horrors, imperfect, and I will fret incessantly. Then I will give the gift, and when I am told it is loved, I will still worry that it isn't. Gift giving is very stressful.

Have I told you guys how much I really love ginger ale?

So This Is In My House Now

2011-12-16T08:00:00.000-05:00

When we got her, I insisted that all cat accessories be cute and match the decor. Does Kate Spade make cat toys? Then Joe brought that home. She loves it. Not only is she a cat, she has no taste.

You guys, I have sat on the floor playing with that thing with her for upwards of half an hour. I've been known to give her a snuggle. Sometimes I call her Lily-kins. Or Lil Bit. I have referred to myself as her mommy. I am telling you this because I do not know who I am anymore.

Her brother still does not have a forever home and we have discussed going to get him.

Somebody stop me.

Kitchen Appliances Make Me Weepy In a Good Way

2011-12-15T08:00:00.000-05:00

We received a package in the mail this week, and because we've been ordering various Christmas presents all month, I opened it without thinking. Turns out, it was a present from my mama that wasn't meant to be opened quite yet. Oops.

Behold:

The food processor! I'm so excited! Thanks, mom. I'm totally going to make sure your room in the home has a window.

(That's funny only because she knows my real intention is that she retire, move in with me, and never leave. I love my mama.)

Last night, I broke it in by making salsa verde for homemade enchiladas.

So yum. I have so many plans!

This Is All Really About the Cat

2011-12-14T08:00:00.000-05:00

On Saturday, I woke up and saw frost. That was fun. Then the day went downhill. By downhill, I mean the day took a flying belly flop off a mile-high cliff into a shallow pool of sewage.

It started off fine. We slept in, made breakfast, and prepared ourselves for a fun-filled day of errand running, Christmas shopping, and general merrymaking, unaware of the clusterfluff of poop soon to befall us.

Before I go any further, it should be known that I blame Joe. Historically, I have had amazingly good luck in life in general, which I have enjoyed greatly and for which I demonstrate my gratitude by offering up baskets of freshly-picked spring strawberries at my local altar twice annually. Though sometimes I am kept up at night worrying about my good luck and when it will run out, because inevitably the universe has to make things even, and if the universe had ever responded verbally to my concerns, it would have said DECEMBER 10, 2011 IS THE DAY IT ENDS and I would not have left the house. Now, Joe, on the other hand, has enjoyed tremendously bad luck his entire life, with the exception of July 1, 2001, the day he met me of course, and if you ask him, he will say the same thing, because we have gone over it. I have often wondered how my extreme good luck and his extreme bad luck would manifest itself in our life as a couple, and now I know.

We went to Trader Joe's. We went to the farmer's market. We filled the trunk with groceries. We drove to a stationery store where I made a return. I did not purchase any additional items. I was very proud of myself. We went to Starbucks. I got an eggnog latte. It was delicious.

We walked back to the car. We got in the car. I inserted the key into the key hole. I turned it. Every indicator light on the dashboard blinked wildly. There was a distinct and repetitive clicking noise. That was all. I turned the key again. Same thing. Except this time, the clicking sounded like cackling. Clicking and cackling are deceptively similar when the universe is making things even. Since I could actually see the dealership across the commuter rail tracks from our parking spot, I called. Closed. I called my dad, who informed me that since AAA and he have differing opinions about whether his latest payment was received, our AAA service is currently inactive. Where are your jumper cables, Joe asked. I don't have jumper cables. You don't have jumper cables? No! But even had I had jumper cables, JOE, it would not have mattered because we eventually ruled out the battery since the lights, radio and indicator lights still worked. More importantly, I did not have jumper cables because I have never before needed them, since before Joe moved in I had never had car trouble, which I think we can all agree is a coincidence too great to ignore. It's as if the universe had planned the whole thing to create a perfect storm of suck it.

I called my old boss from my working retail days because her shop is in the same shopping center where we were parked. She offered to come get us and drive us and our trunk full of groceries home. This was complete luck, which I assume was some sort of oversight.

When we got home, we realized we were missing one bag. The bag filled with fish and scallops. The fish and scallops we had bought from the fish vendor at the farmer's market because tilapia and bay scallops were on special. The fish and scallops that were now going to fill my car with fishiness and scallopness, curing us of ever wanting to eat fish or scallops again. It just happened to be the stinkiest of all our bags. Well played, universe.

I made peace with this. There was nothing we could do. I opened the mail. Our electric bill went up $8 as compared to last month and I chose then to flip my ever-loving shit . My car won't start and it is filling up with fish stink and it is probably going to cost a bajillion dollars to fix it and then it will still smell like fish and I will have to return all the Christmas presents I have ever bought and I have to live with a cat and now the electric bill is up 8 motherfucking dollars!?! I believed this all to be Joe's fault and I shared this with him, gently and calmly in soothing tones.

I went to the bedroom to cool off. A loud noise and cursing soon interrupted my sulking. I walked into the kitchen to find a fiance standing in a puddle of glass and just-purchased extra virgin olive oil, which had fallen, busted, and was now seeping into our brand new rug. Of all the things to fall and break, a completely full bottle of olive oil is just about the worst in terms of its cost per bottle to impossibility to clean ratio. Joe was sent to the bathroom to attempt to scrub olive oil out of the rug, while I took on the awesome task of cleaning up a giant puddle of glass shard infused oil.

This done, Joe bravely expressed his desire to have scallops for dinner, and his sad feelings over there being no scallops. I, feeling strongly about my car not smelling of fish, asked a friend if I could borrow his car so we could retrieve Joe's dinner.

Once at the car, on a whim, we tried to start it. It started right up. No problem. Hey, where did you guys go, it said. I was just kidding about not starting up earlier. That was funny how I did that. Remember when I wouldn't start and you guys had to get a nice lady to cart you and a trunk full of groceries home and you were so worried about how much it would cost to fix but regardless you still have to live with a cat? LOL.

We drove both cars home without incident, even stopping successfully along the way to get a new bottle of olive oil. We had scallops for dinner. The status quo was restored. On Sunday, we completed remaining necessary errands while one of us waited in the running car, since we were afraid to turn it off lest we be stranded again due to poor vehicular sense of humor.

Monday, the car got an apparently much needed new battery (who knew?). Joe and I did not kill each other all weekend, though threats were exchanged, wherein I made some vague references to his testicles being in danger and he politely let me know what I could do with them.

So now I have my answer. This is how good luck and bad luck shall reconcile. Shitty things will happen, but everything will turn out okay in the end. This is how the universe will maintain equilibrium. I guess I can live with that if necessary. It doesn't really change the fact that I have to live with a cat.

The Most Accurate Reflection of Our Relationship To Date

2011-12-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

Joe: I should have bought a fish spatula today.

me: Why don't you get a monkey skull and a bag of asphalt while you're at it, or to save time, you could just throw money directly down the fucking garbage disposal.

Joe: I guess we could use a bag of asphalt to patch holes in the driveway when we buy a house. But a monkey skull...I have no idea what I would do with that. I also was thinking about getting a lemon juicer. I guess we could just use a regular spatula.

me: Yeah, we could.

Joe: Okay. So it's a no on the lemon juicer, then?

It's Coming

2011-12-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

On Saturday morning, I woke up and spied frost on the bedroom window. The weather heretofore has been unseasonably warm and I have been oh so impatiently awaiting colder temperatures.

(Did you like the use of the heretofore? I learned that in law school. Totally worth it.)

I know for many the idea of winter coming brings on dread and dreariness and generally unpleasant feelings. Very similar, I imagine, to how I feel about hot, humid, miserable summers. For me, the sighting of the first frost on the window is akin to the joy most people feel when they spy the first upshoots of green in the spring.

Bring on the snow, I say.

Frost on the window also reminds me of this, which makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. The photos are still available if you're interested. Sweet goodness.

Giving Back Gift Guide 2011

2011-12-09T08:30:00.000-05:00

First, gifts for others. Then, gifts for me. Then that made me feel guilty. So now gifts for others that help others. Yay for people! And giving! And gifts that give! And consciences!

The Rose Bracelet, $95. 100% of proceeds benefit the programs of Invisible Children, which develops programs to help the people of Uganda.

Kate Spade Hand in Hand Cashmere Scarf, $195. These scarves are made by women in Afghanistan, creating jobs for Afghan women. Each scarf is hand knit and has a tag bearing the signature of the woman who made it. The site also features scarves made by women in Bosnia.

FEED Peace Bag, $45. The purchase of each FEED Peace bag provides 25 meals in areas of war and conflict. You can also choose FEED Love, which provides 25 meals in areas with high rates of HIV/AIDS patients, or FEED Green, which provides 25 meals in areas devastated by the effects of natural disasters.

Philosophy Sweet Dreams Fresh Cream Shampoo, Shower Gel, and Bubble Bath, $20. 100% of proceeds benefit First Book, which helps provide new books to children in need.

Sweet Home Gingerbread Folk Cookie Tin, $26.99. 35% of the price goes to help homeless mothers and their children fund educations, find jobs, and move into homes of their own. You get 50 cookies. Win/win.

For $25, Project Night Night provides Night Night packages containing a new security blanket, a book, and a stuffed animal in a new canvas tote bag to homeless children. This makes me want to give someone a hug.

Manure, $12, through Oxfam America Unwrapped. Buy this in someone's name and organic manure goes to people who need it around the world to help increase crop yields in an environmentally friendly manner. Give someone who deserves it shit. But with class. Like a lady. (This idea came from a retweet by The Bloggess. It is brilliant.)

If you have a favorite charity gift or ideas for giving back, please let the rest of us know!

(P.S.- If you're ever not sure about a new charity or want to check up on an old favorite, check them out on Charity Navigator before giving your money/time. Charity Navigator is itself a non-profit which evaluates the financial health of over 5,000 charities to make sure your money and efforts are really going where you think they're going.)

iGive

2011-12-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

As much as I heart shopping, lusting after stuff also makes me feel a little icky. Not that I'm not totally guilty of getting caught up in the fun of things, but I do sort of feel bad about it (sometimes). I'm feeling a little better since I downloaded iGive.

Basically, you choose the charity of your choice and download the program. Now, whenever you do your regular shopping online, if the retailer is affiliated with iGive, a disclosed percentage of your purchase will be donated to your chosen charity. It's as simple as that and costs you nothing. A ton of stores are involved, including many places I regularly shop, like Kate Spade, Amazon, and Sephora.

In fact, if you follow this link and sign up, my charity automatically gets $5 and so does whatever charity you choose. I chose The Carter Center. I used to intern there and they do some amazing work. I'm so thrilled I can help them out, even a little, by doing something I do anyway.

I expect a personal call from President Carter to thank me any day now. No, thank you, P.C., I totally bought those Kate Spade earrings and that tinted moisturizer with you in mind, I'll say, and then we'll laugh and talk about peanuts. Have I mentioned before that I got to go on a tour of President Carter's childhood peanut farm home given by President Carter himself and that I'm a little in love with him? No? I love him. Bunches.

Anyways, iGive. Do it. If you want. No pressure.

Life with Lily

2011-12-08T08:00:00.000-05:00

She helps with the groceries.

Then she does the dishes.

She doesn't want to be bothered until she's had her coffee.

She does impressions.

Remember this?

Lily does an awesome Garfield.

That's the screen door to our patio. That's totally cool, Lily. I didn't want that security deposit back anyway.

The other day I caught her tossing around one of my favorite earrings. Today she knocked over a lamp and broke the bulb. There's a blanket permanently covering the leather of my favorite club chair in case she gets scratch happy.

But did you see that face? Who's the cutest cat in the whole world? See how I'm trying?

Holiday & Birthday Gift Guide...For Me 2011

2011-12-07T08:13:00.000-05:00

Following on the heels of what I have my eye on for others, here's what I'm eyeing for myself this year for Christmas and my December 23rd birthday. Most of these items are working double duty (a couple have already been purchased for friends & family). In retrospect, I don't think these gift guides are good for me or my wallet, but at least they're kinda fun.

DiorShow Mascara, $24.50. My hunt for the perfect mascara has been ongoing and ever disappointing. This mascara has reached cult classic status and I've been dying to try it and find out if it could be the one.

Burberry Women's Fragrance Coffret, $40. I'm a huge fan of all the Burberry fragrances, but don't own a single bottle. I love perfume and cannot limit myself to just one, so I buy the mini-bottles to save money. With every perfume I own in constant rotation, the little bottles still last forever.

Chanel Fragrance Wardrobe, $120. Five Chanel fragrances in adorable little bottles. I covet this sweet little package every year.

tarte Starlet Limited Edition Makeup Vanity, $52. A carry over from the gifts for others list. I'm in desperate need of new make-up and this kit has it all. Plus, I love that tarte make-up is made without sulfates, synthetic dyes, and other nasty stuff.

DKNY Button Down Dot-Print Pajamas Set in navy, $68. I mean, look how good they look on me.

The Laundress Sweater Comb, $18. Pilling has rendered too many of my sweaters unwearable. A handy tool that will refresh and replenish my winter wardrobe.

Cuisinart Prep Plus Food Processor, ~~$250~~ $99.96. The current kitchen gadget of my dreams.

Pastry Cutter, $11.99. For cookies, pies, biscuits, and my sanity so I don't have to cut the butter in with two forks, which is just oh so inefficient.

Half sheet pan and cooling rack set, $30. I currently do not have either a half sheet pan or a cooling rack and the shame is palpable.

Digital Candy & Oil Thermometer, ~~$34.99~~ $20.17. So I can branch into candy making. Hey now.

Bridesmaids on DVD, ~~$29.98~~ $14.99. Because I'd like to watch it 72 more times back to back. Melissa McCarthy has been my hero ever since she was Sookie St. James.

Kate Spade All Wrapped Up Bow Studs, $48. I love all the Kate Spade earrings, and these are especially adorable.

Kate Spade Grace Avenue Ring Holder, $40. My engagement ring needs a worthy home.

Sorel Tivoli Waterproof Boot, $109.95. I am going on my 8th East Coast winter and I still do not own a pair of waterproof boots. Utterly ridiculous. Though, it was not until last year that I finally purchased a decent ice scraper for the car, so, you know, baby steps.

And now for the never in a million years item I've been drooling over for months:

Canon PowerShot S95 10mp Digital Camera, ~~$399.00~~ $299.00. When I can, an awesome camera is on the top of the investment list.

Important Conversations to Have Before You Get Married: Breakfast Edition

2011-12-06T08:13:00.000-05:00

me (ever supportive): The toast has been especially crispy lately.

Joe: I thought you liked it extra crispy.

me: No, I like bacon extra crispy. I like my toast just barely toasted. I thought you were doing it extra crispy because that's how you like it.

Joe: No, I like it barely toasted too.

me: So if I hadn't said something, we could have gone our whole lives eating burnt toast because we each thought the other one liked it that way.

Joe: This is exactly why communication is so important.

Holiday Gift Guide 2011

2011-12-05T08:00:00.000-05:00

Traditionally, I like to bring you gift guides of things for me, as seen here and here. Because I'm looking out for you. Trying to make your life simpler. For the few moments you spend every year shopping for me (or maybe not).

This year, I will still probably do that, but first, a twist. I now bring you my gift guide of ideas for other people. Look at me, I'm growing. (An aside: I would enjoy many of these things. FYI.)

These are items I have my eye on this year:

A Cashmere Souffle Scarf, ~~$129~~ $89, for your grandma, because nothing says matriarch like spun cashmere.

A Wusthof Classic 8-inch Chef's Knife, ~~$150~~ $119.95, for your boyfriend, because passion fades but perfectly dicing the shallots for your morning omelet better be forever.

The tarte Starlet Limited Edition Make-up Vanity, $52, for your cousin, because you've seen her make-up bag and everything in it pre-dates Y2K. The fact that tarte products are made without sulfates, synthetic dyes, petrochemicals, GMOs, and triclosan is a thoughtful bonus, even though I only know what 2 out of the 5 actually are.

Cashmere Ballet Slippers, ~~$99~~ $79, for your mom, because, honestly, you had me at cashmere, and she'll feel the same way.

Marc Jacobs Rollerball Fragrance Trio in a cute reusable metal tin, $38, for your little sister, because you love her enough to help her smell her very best.

A Ralph Lauren monogrammed Cotton Cable Throw, $99.99, for your future in-laws, because you're pretty sure they like you, but every little bit helps. It also works well as a wedding gift for your best friend, because when you marry a man in the navy, and your new monogram just happens to be s.O.s., it begs to be stamped on everything.

Monogrammed mugs, $6, for your co-workers, because at this price, it's worth finally figuring out which one of them is always leaving dirty dishes in the break room sink.

A Pooley 2 8-tube vase, $26, for your Aunt, because it's quirky and different but beautiful, just like she is. Plus, it creates a fun and impressive centerpiece with just 8 flowers? Brilliant.

Pink Solid Pajamas, ~~$42.50~~ $34, for the little girl in your life, because it's hard to imagine she could be any more adorable, but put her in these and see what happens.

All Star Pajamas, ~~$42.50~~ $34, for the little boy in your life, because it's hard to be tough and cuddly at the same time, but he pulls it off so expertly.

Crystal stemware, ~~$79~~ $59.99, for your brother, because it's time for him to learn that offering a lady a Bart Simpson mug for her wine just will not do.

Origins Blade Runner Energizing Shave Cream, $15, for your dad, because the invigorating combination of coriander, Australian eucalyptus, and French peppermint says, hey, pamper your face with the help of as many countries as possible. You deserve it.

Kate Spade Lady Marmalade Stud Earrings, $48, for your friend who likes a little sparkle suitable for every day, because you own these, your mom owns these, your future mother-in-law owns these, and you will not rest until everyone else does too. Though you curse the day your ex-roommate quit working at Kate Spade, because paying full price blows.

Membership in a Bacon of the Month Club, $99, for the man in your life who has everything, because you don't really have it all until bacon is delivered regularly to your door.

A Cotton-Cashmere Half-Zip Sweater, ~~$85~~ $75, for your husband, because he has no idea you're slowly replacing every item in his wardrobe.

The Body Shop Sparkler in Golden, $24, for that friend of yours who can't quit the tanning beds, because it's time to suggest a more subtle, safer way to glow.

Philosophy Kiss of Hope Lip Treatment with SPF 15, $16, for your group of besties, because everyone is always looking for an awesome lip balm, and caring is this easy.

Other Dallas Highlights Include:

2011-12-02T08:02:00.001-05:00

The Mexican brownie at my favorite Mexican restaurant in Dallas is so delicious that I often find myself thinking about it on any given random evening.

They bring a sizzling hot platter to your table, pour down a brandy butter sauce which immediately starts to bubble and sizzle. The aroma of butter and vanilla hits you and your mouth starts to water.

The other patrons turn to watch.

Then they plop an enormous, rich, chocolate-y pecan-filled brownie in the middle and top it with a generous scoop of vanilla ice cream.

The hot brandy butter sauce seeps into the brownie and the ice cream begins to melt, dripping down the brownie and mixing with that sauce, inducing a near comatose state when ingested that is pure bliss.

It's as rich as it sounds and even with one brownie ordered for our table of 5, we still didn't finish it.

It's not just a dessert, it's an experience.

Also: beer and wine as far as the eye can see. In the grocery store, where it belongs. Suck it, Pennsylvania.

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-12-01T08:10:00.001-05:00

This year, I spent Thanksgiving in Dallas with my mom, dad, youngest brother, and oldest brother. The other brother stayed put in his adopted hometown of Manhattan, for which, given his view of the parade route that day, I do not blame him at all.

Cooking Thanksgiving dinner fell to me this year, and I decided to keep the menu relatively simple. Just the classics, done as simply and deliciously as possible. This isn't the first time a big holiday meal has been my responsibility, and simple recipes using quality ingredients always mean a fantastic meal with as little stress as possible.

For planning, I typically write down or print each recipe. Then I create a shopping list organized and divided into categories: produce, dairy, dry goods, beverages, and other. That makes getting through the store so much easier and just generally makes your life more pleasant.

I also take shortcuts wherever it makes sense. As much as I love baking, I knew taking on dessert too would just add stress, so we bought a pecan pie, got some vanilla ice cream and plenty of coffee, and that took care of that. My dad's favorite restaurant was deep-frying turkeys by order so we took advantage of that too. I've still never taken on roasting a turkey, and quite frankly, it scares me a little. Way too much pressure.

My contributions this year included: Macaroni & Cheese, Green Beans with Lemon and Garlic, Cornbread Dressing, Mashed Sweet Potatoes, and Scalloped Potato Gratin.

My dad and I did all the grocery shopping together and he spent the day in the kitchen with me making his famous oyster dressing and an award-worthy mega salad, which really is a meal by itself. He's quite talented and would like to take full credit for all my cooking abilities. I'll allow it.

Add rolls, ham, cheese, crackers, lots of wine, coffee & Baileys and you've got yourself a good day.

Holidays and special occasions like this remind me how grateful I am that even though my parents are divorced, they still come together so we can share these days as a family. Their divorce was final my sophomore year of high school, and yet, both of them come together at every special event and even the occasional regular family dinner. They've always let us still be a family.

Not to say there haven't been bumps and skirmishes along the way, but 95% of the time, we just have a really good time all together. At every one of my graduations, I've gotten to look into the crowd and see my parents sitting together, smiling, and cheering for their daughter. I'm so grateful and appreciative to both of them for being big enough to make that happen.

Good work, parents.

I hope you guys had a good one, too, and if you happen to have a fool-proof turkey recipe sure to help me get over my fear, do let me know.

Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread

2011-11-30T08:05:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite Fall treats is pumpkin bread. Google pumpkin bread and you will get an endless stream of recipes, all different. Generally, there are two ways to go: sweet or savory. I prefer the slightly sweet variety, preferably dotted with chocolate chips. Chocolate and pumpkin are besties. Who am I to stand in their way?

Years ago, I had a pumpkin bread recipe I adored. But I lost it and have not been able to replicate it since. I make several batches every fall and they never come out quite right when compared to the original recipe. This year, though, I think I'm close (though not quite there). Still, this recipe provides a warm blend of pumpkin, fall spice, and chocolate that pairs perfectly with a tall glass of milk or a hot cup of coffee. Try it and see.

(Recipe adapted slightly from here.)

3 1/3 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/8 teaspoon allspice
3 cups sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup water
1 15 oz. can pumpkin
4 eggs
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Set oven to Bake at 350.

Sift and mix together flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and allspice.

In separate bowl, mix together sugar, oil, water, pumpkin, and eggs.

Add the dry ingredients to the wet in 3 batches, mixing well between batches.

Stir in chocolate chips.

Pour into loaf pans (makes 2 large).

Bake for 60-70 minutes, but start checking it after 40 just in case. Overbaking means dry pumpkin bread and not even chocolate chips can solve that problem. Or try pumpkin bread muffins. In that case 30 minutes at 350 should do it.

In Summary and In Conclusion...

2011-11-29T08:45:00.000-05:00

I started this job in August and started traveling in September with the understanding that the traveling would be pretty constant until Thanksgiving. They made good on that promise. I smartly/stupidly did not mention my fear of flying during the interview process. I hate flying. Actually, no, let me clarify. Flying is pretty awesome. It's the fear of plummeting to my untimely death that makes my stomach dance. Luckily, that did not happen, which is no doubt due in large part to my ritual of leaning back during takeoff, closing my eyes, white knuckling the arm rests, and repeating "Lord, please get us there safely" over and over in my head until the ding goes off alerting me that we've reached 10,000 feet. Then I can relax. Until we hit turbulence. Then repeat. This method has a 100% safe arrival success rate. Not so crazy now, is it fellow passengers who look at me with pity? We all made it to Pittsburgh, despite a pilot who never met an air bump he didn't like. You're welcome.

Anyway, I flew a lot. Fourteen times to be exact. I took Amtrak 3 times and made 2 road trips. I stayed in 21 hotels. I rented 7 cars.

I visited about 27 schools, attended 7 law fairs and 5 law forums.

I spent time in 25 cities, including New York, New Orleans, Houston, Williamsburg, Atlanta, Boston, Toronto, Pittsburgh, and Chicago.

I had a lot of fun.

I'm also a little tired.

Home

2011-11-28T08:34:00.003-05:00

For the indefinite future. I may never leave again. Luckily, we're still enjoying temperatures in the 60s in Philly so looks like Fall tried to wait for me. I'm very grateful. I did not want to miss it. I still haven't even made pumpkin bread this year, which is just a travesty.

That is all for now. My body is home, but my brain isn't quite.

If you need me, I will be either taking an offensively long shower, sleeping in my own bed, emptying the DVR of the 50+ shows I haven't had time to watch, or trying to cram all my favorite Fall activities into the week or so of it we have left.

Kitchens are for Grown-Ups

2011-11-22T08:12:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I forget my friends are grown-ups. I forget that Sheridan and Holly are married, or Kel works for the Bronx DA's office, or that the whole lot of them have bills and checking accounts and go to work every day. It still seems sort of strange to me even though I myself am growing up, am grown up. When did that happen?

So when I got to go to New Orleans and see Kathryn it was a special reminder of how far we've come since we were 16 year old girls climbing onto the roof of my house to lay down and star gaze and talk about life. Because, yes, technically I know she bought a house in New Orleans and has been slowly renovating it over the last year, but it still didn't feel quite real. Until I got to see it in person and she got to show off her newly completed kitchen (literally newly, the backsplash had gone up the night before I arrived). She's worked so hard and I'm so proud of her. So I asked if I could show her new kitchen here and she said yes. Thanks, buddy.

This is the before.

The inspiration picture.

Painting the cabinets a perfect shade of blue.

Getting ready for granite.

After! Just needing a few finishing touches, including shades for the chandelier bulbs.

Way to be a grown-up, Kat. You are doing it so nicely.

Postcards from New Orleans

2011-11-21T08:24:00.003-05:00

Though I was there for work, I still had plenty of time to hang out with one of my best buddies from high school, Kathryn. She very kindly took some time off work so we could hang out and sight see. And when I say sight see, I mean eat our way through the city. I was born in New Orleans, I've been back many times, so there isn't too much left at this point that I haven't already seen. The food, however, that I can do every single time. Great city, great food, and great company. There was more eating than shown, but honestly, enough is enough.

Wine, martinis, and crème brûlée at The Delachaise

Dauphine Orleans Hotel

Beignets and frozen cafe au lait at Cafe Du Monde

me & Kat

Oyster roast and cucumbers & herbs in vinegar at Cochon

Muffaletta at Butcher

Effective advertising

Shrimp po'boy and sweet potato fries at Parkway

Bring on Thanksgiving. I'm hungry.

Score

2011-11-18T08:01:00.004-05:00

If ever in Atlanta, you must stop by the Dekalb International Farmers Market. It is one of the places I miss most from my living in Atlanta days. Not only does it have a remarkable selection of international products, including cheeses, wines, dry goods, fresh baked breads and pastries, and rows upon rows upon rows of fruits and vegetables many of which I've never heard of, but they also have freshly butchered meats at reasonable prices and a huge seafood section where someone will kindly clean and fillet the fresh catch of your choice.

My absolute favorite part of the market though is the spice aisle. Herbs and spices are freshly dried/ground, put into containers, organized on the shelves in alphabetical order, and sold at prices that are so low as to make you do a double take. Generally, spices are ridiculously expensive and I've often lamented my hesitation at buying something new for experimentation simply because it cost $7.00 for a tiny container. Not a problem at this market. I mean we're talking over a cup of freshly ground cayenne pepper for 53 cents. It sends a little shiver of pleasure up my spine just thinking about the cooking possibilities and the downright bargain of it all. When I was in Atlanta for work last week, I stopped in to stock up.

All of that spicy goodness and my total was $11.43. Eleven dollars and 43 cents! It cost me about that just to ship it home and still it was a bargain.

While you're in Atlanta for your spice shopping, should you find yourself driving among the gorgeous Buckhead mansions and see a sign for an estate sale, you should definitely stop. Because you just might snag yourself an immaculate Armani coat, which I have on good authority would go for $2000+ new, for a mere $75. Your mom might also snatch up a Bob Mackie silk scarf for a gleeful $10. Millionaires: I will happily carry away your discarded bounty at rock bottom prices any day. I am quite in love with this coat. I'm considering sleeping in it.

Bargains to be had in Atlanta, people. A very profitable trip.

I'm in Houston

2011-11-17T18:09:00.000-05:00

It's not quite as exciting. I'm happy that this is the last work stop. After this, I head to Dallas to be with my family for Thanksgiving.

Then home. For days and days and days with no foreseeable end, I get to be home. In my own bed, cooking my own meals, and spending some time with my fiance, whom I vaguely recall has blonde hair. I think. I can't quite remember.

But first, a week with my mom and dad and brothers. Not a bad way to wrap up my adventures in traveland.

I'm in New Orleans

2011-11-15T08:08:00.003-05:00

The city in which I was born.

The current home of one of my best friends from high school.

I have an amazing memory foam mattress in my French Quarter hotel room, the ability to take drinks from bars in a to-go cup, and a 3-day itinerary jam-packed with good times, interspersed with enough work to keep my head solidly on my shoulders.

Happiness is...

And Yet When I Discuss Baby Names He Has No Opinion

2011-11-14T08:10:00.001-05:00

As we filled out the forms for Lily's first vet appointment:

Joe: Should we spell Lily with one "l" or two?

me: Does it matter?

Joe: If we spell it with one "l" does it look like it should be pronounced "Lie-ly"?

me: No, l-i-l-y is the traditional spelling. I think it's fine.

Joe: ...

me: What?

Joe: Which spelling is cuter?

Venue #6

2011-11-11T07:01:00.000-05:00

Venue #1.

Venues #2-#4.

Venue #5.

Are you guys having fun yet?

This one could be it. Truthfully, right now it's between this and Venue #1. Even more truthfully, if Venue #1 was in New York, Joe and I agree it would be a done deal. We really want to get married in New York. But Venue #1 is so perfect. I keep going back and forth about what wins in the end.

I haven't been home since last Tuesday, so we haven't checked out any more places yet. The past week and a half I did North Carolina to Atlanta to Virginia for work. Now I'm home for three days. On Monday I leave to do New Orleans, Houston, and then Dallas for Thanksgiving with my family. After that, no more traveling and it'll be decision time.

Venue #6 is in New York and is about 10 miles from Joe's hometown. It's beautiful and cozy with amazing views surrounding. We toured this venue the morning after the snow. It was one of the places where guests had spent the night on the floor, and the planners were going on no sleep after spending the night at the venue and trying to recover and set up in time for another wedding. They were still incredibly gracious and kindly took the time to show us around, but I could tell they were a little embarrassed because things were still kind of a mess. So please overlook that in the pictures. I think the charm and beauty shines through despite the disarray.

Cocktails.

They will light firepits out here and we can enjoy the evening and roast s'mores!

Venue #5

2011-11-10T08:29:00.001-05:00

Venue #1 is here.

Venues #2-#4 are here.

Venue #5 is a contender. Sort of. I have my issues with it. It's in New York, 16 miles from Joe's hometown. The drive to it is idyllic, with the curvy, hilly, tree-lined roads and amazing views that I love about that part of the state.

It's basically a big gorgeous house with sprawling grounds. Very warm and cozy. I love the idea of having everyone feel like they're attending an event at a grand estate, but with the coziness of feeling like you're in someone's home. There are fireplaces in every room and lots of places for people to wander and lounge, chat and just enjoy. It's also the least expensive option.

Which is why it's such a shame that the only thing I don't like about this venue is the actual reception room. I hate the chandeliers, I hate the layout of the room, I hate that the dance floor is separated from the main area, and I hate the columns dividing the room painted to look like faux marble. This really annoys me because I adore the rest of the house. I wanted so badly for this to be it, and maybe it still will be if I can get over those small factors, but I just don't love it completely. Joe really loved this venue, but I think I ruined it for him when I started pointing out my issues. Sorry, Joey. This place is still in the running because there is so much going for it. I am going to try to get over myself on this one.

This is also where we were when it started to snow that weekend, so we got to see how the event planners handle the unexpected as they scrambled to come up with a plan B for that evening's wedding. They were unfrazzled, professional, and extremely courteous. Major points.

There is a winding path leading from the side of the house where guests can stroll and enjoy some pretty.

The reception room. Just not feeling it. I also hate the mirrored wall.

Party room - this is where the dancing goes down.

Gorgeous bar.

Outdoor ceremony space.

This is my "I'm a good sport and the snow is totally not ruining my day" face.

Certifiable

2011-11-09T08:22:00.002-05:00

I'm pretty sure the mark of an insane person is someone who willingly and voluntarily puts themselves through hell and actually pays for the pleasure. In this category are marathon runners, the dominatrix/sadomasochist set, and people who take multiple bar exams.

Yesterday, I registered for another round of bar prep to get me ready for the February New York bar exam. If all goes well, and I don't die this go around, I will find out I passed in May, and with our current lease up in June, we will then have a nice, long talk about whether to move back to Joe's hometown about an hour north of NYC. It's where he ultimately wants to be and I love it there. So if I can't find a job I love here in Philly, we might as well head back and start building our lives there. That is the tentative plan as of now. Again, assuming I don't die.

Dear BARBRI: thank you, sir, may I have another?

Venues #2, #3, and #4

2011-11-08T07:59:00.001-05:00

Venue #1 is here.

Venue #2 is in New York, about an hour and a half from NYC and about 16 miles from where Joe grew up. It's a winery, which I've learned is different from a vineyard. They make the wine, but don't grow the grapes. It was lovely but they charge a $7500 site fee, which is before you even factor in catering. Thanks, but no thanks.

Venue #3 is in Joe's hometown in New York but isn't complete yet. They are renovating some old brick buildings and turning them into a restaurant, hotel, and event space. It should be done by next summer. We toured the site and saw some artist renderings of what it will look like. It promises to be gorgeous with exactly the kind of vibe we want. Also, getting married in Joe's hometown, where he grew up and our relationship really developed, would mean a lot to both of us. However, new construction makes me nervous. What if it's behind schedule or they haven't worked out all the kinks by the time our wedding comes around? They also are asking a rather exorbitant minimum fee, which I feel is unrealistic for the town and the area. They currently only have one wedding booked, so maybe the price will drop eventually. But right now, it's out. Anyway, no pictures of that because there's nothing to see yet.

Venue #4 is it. Probably over a year before we even got engaged, I came across this place and fell in love based on the pictures. Since then, I've imagined the day there and based my mental planning around it. I couldn't wait to see it in person. To make it even sweeter, they recently renovated and the place is even more beautiful than it was originally. It's about 10 miles from where Joe grew up. It has everything we wanted and would showcase everything I love about New York State in the Fall. The views are amazing and they were smart enough to keep everything else elegant but minimal to highlight how beautiful the surroundings are. However, this will have to be the "if money was no object" place of my dreams because it's just expensive enough to be out of reach, but not so outrageous as to make me resent it. I just love it. Joe agreed this would be it only if...

Plan B ceremony space in case of bad weather. Or snow in October. Normally, the cocktail space.

The intended ceremony space. Insanely beautiful. The camera could not capture it.

Venues #5 and #6 are actually contenders. Coming up soon.

Introducing...

2011-11-07T08:30:00.001-05:00

This is Lily. She's new. Joe named her. He's in love.

Joe will adore and take exceptional care of her, whereas my tolerance will grow to distant affection.

As we know, Joe likes cats. I, on the other hand, respect them out of fear.

This one, though, is growing on me. She's awfully adorable.

Now, to get it out of my system, please enjoy some gratuitous kitten photos. Thank you.

Lemonade

2011-11-03T14:09:00.000-04:00

There are some moments these days when I'm a bit frustrated. I'm not doing what I thought I would be doing right now work-wise. I'm not really using my very expensive degree. I'm not really sure what's next or where to go from here. There's a lot of unknown.

But then I find myself being able to go for a two hour bike ride in the middle of a Thursday in Atlanta's Piedmont Park because the day's work event isn't until 7:00 pm and I can't believe how good life can be. Something I inexplicably never did during the two years I lived here before law school. For shame. If I was doing what I thought I was going to be doing right now, I would not be able to do things like this.

Postcards from Williamsburg, Virginia

2011-11-02T08:53:00.002-04:00

I had to be in Williamsburg last week for work and Joe came along. I had one afternoon free during the trip and so we decided to explore a bit. I would have loved to take all the historic colonial Williamsburg tours and see all the exhibits, but the only option was a one-day pass which is a bit pricey when you only have a couple of hours. It was an absolutely gorgeous day so we satisfied ourselves by just wandering around and exploring the shops.

There's a little OCD in me which found color separated M&Ms very satisfying.

Ye Olde Talbots

Say no more.

Floor to ceiling salts, spices, sauces, jams and other cooking goodies. Heaven.

Fluke

2011-11-01T08:35:00.001-04:00

Friday:

Saturday:

Sunday:

After the power went out, we spent Saturday night in New York on my cousin Kim's pull-out couch bed, close to a cozy wood-burning stove under piles of blankets.

We spent Sunday morning dodging fallen tree branches and power lines to keep a wedding venue tour appointment. Once there, we learned that event managers were exhausted following a night during which 190 wedding guests had to sleep on the ballroom floor because of the storm. No one could go anywhere, so they kept the music and food going for as long as people wanted to dance and eat. Then the bride and groom changed clothes and hunkered down for a night sleeping on the floor with their guests. Sounds awful, but I bet it was actually pretty magical, and a night no one will ever forget.

It's Just Nice to Know Someone Cares

2011-10-31T08:27:00.002-04:00

Sophia, age 4: Where are you going?

me: To the bathroom.

Sophia: For peepee or poopy?

me: Uh, pee.

Sophia: Do you need help?

me: No, but thank you, I've pretty much got it down.

Sophia: Okay, well, I'll wait outside the door just in case.

Crabby

2011-10-28T08:49:00.000-04:00

I had to be in Virginia for work this week. Williamsburg and Richmond. Joe came along since I decided to drive there. On the way, we stopped in Baltimore for fresh crabs, a trip Joe has been wanting us to make forever. He was quite thrilled.

Me, not so much. Something about having to scrape a creature's lungs and digestive materials out of the way before eating it just doesn't do it for my appetite. It's also quite a lot of work for not very much reward. Plus it hurt my delicate hands. And it took forever. I am a lot of fun.

Score

2011-10-27T08:26:00.000-04:00

I've been needing new luggage given all the traveling I've been doing, but haven't been able to find the right thing. Every bag under $100 was either ugly as sin, made so as to fall apart shortly after its maiden voyage, or just not the right size for carry-on while still being big enough to hold everything I need for a whole trip (i.e. morning face wash, night face wash, day face cream, night face cream, blow dryer with diffuser, 4 pairs of shoes, you get the idea). My current travel bag is a hot pink rolling suitcase, which while totally awesome when I got it many years ago, sort of screams "ask me about Justin Bieber" rather than "ask me about law school." Time to let it go.

Last week, at the Pottery Barn outlet, I found this. Shown there for $179. I paid $83.99 at the outlet. I'm filing this under things that make me exuberantly happy. P.S. who knew Pottery Barn had luggage?

Also scored was this cute 5' x 3' rug for the kitchen. $12. So happy.

Sundays

2011-10-26T22:06:00.001-04:00

This on the TV:

This on the laptop:

Repairing a computer on the dining table:

Wet towel, random clothes, and computer tools on the bed:

The bread, three hours after he made toast:

The bathroom is all I have left.

Just a Number

2011-10-25T08:24:00.000-04:00

On Saturday, my dad turned 70 years old. He is very, very old. My mom is 13 years younger, a youthful 57. My dad had been married once before he and my mom married, and I have two older half-brothers as a result, both in their 40s, though we're all very close and you wouldn't know there's such an age difference between us. My little brother is 16.5 months younger than me.

So yeah, 70. It's a bit unbelievable to me. Mostly because I know my dad. He does not age. He's the youngest 70 year old I've ever known. Case in point, the man at his birthday party:

I did not get his French/Italian olive skin, or his ability to be completely unself-conscious and the life of every party, which I am forever disappointed about, but here's hoping I got his genes when it comes to aging. He makes 70 look good.

Happy birthday, Dad. To at least 70 more. If anybody can pull that off, it's him.

Venue #1

2011-10-24T08:25:00.000-04:00

I loved it. Crap. This place had 90% of everything we're looking for and it's fairly reasonably priced compared to the other places I've checked out. It's a converted factory that is now a hotel/restaurant/event space and it's gorgeous. Tons of exposed brick and wood beams. It's beautifully designed and the lighting throughout is thoughtfully done in that warm, dim light which makes everything feel elegant yet cozy and makes everybody look really good. They were setting up for another wedding when we visited so we got to see the ceremony space with all the chairs set up. I imagine it with the aisle lined with candles and the fireplace lit. It already feels cozy and elegant without having to add much (I see saving major money on flowers), which is the vibe I want to permeate throughout our day. And I LOVE the black chiavari chairs. (A secret: I hate chair covers.) This space would be flipped during the cocktail hour for the reception.

The cocktail area was set up for that bride's buffet style dinner. My preference is a plated dinner but it was still nice to see how the space could be utilized. You can't tell from the photos but those linens are a beautiful cream color with just a bit of texture, almost like an ever so slight bouclé. And they're included. As are the tables, and the chairs, and candles and 20 beautiful black candelabras, and all the table settings. Score.

If the weather is nice, we can expand the cocktail hour onto the adjoining patio space and enjoy the weather. If it's not nice, they can enclose those open windows with plexiglass and heat the space if necessary so we can still use it.

After the tour, we had lunch at the restaurant to get an idea of the food quality. The restaurant was gorgeously decorated. We just had soup, sandwiches and fries, and it was delicious. Everything was so good and beautifully presented. We could easily have our rehearsal dinner and maybe even a brunch the morning after at the hotel's restaurant. If friends and family want to keep the party going after hours, they could hit up the hotel bar. Our guests could stay, dine, and attend the wedding all in one fantastic building. It would all be very easy and convenient. More importantly, I could see us there. I could imagine the day. I liked it.

Now the cons:

I don't know why, but the vision I have in my head is for everyone to sit down to dinner at a really long, family-style table. My family is down South and Joe's is scattered around New England and I'm very aware that this is going to be the only time in our lives that all these people are in the same room. I just love the idea of us all sitting down to dinner together at the same table (or as few tables as possible). We could do that here, but we'd have to separately rent the tables and linens, which would be a silly extra expense. They only have rounds.

This place is extremely popular. They do up to three weddings in a single weekend. I have no reason to think they don't execute everything beautifully, but it does have a way of making you feel a little less special. Their popularity also means they're stingy with discounts because there's no reason why they should hand them out. Even if we were willing to have the wedding on a Friday or Sunday or during an off-peak season, we'd still pay full price.

Wedding has to be over by 11:00 pm. Boo.

The hotel is gorgeous, but the surrounding scenery is urban and is not. The hotel is surrounded by parking lot and other brick buildings. Not a lot of opportunity for photo ops outside. But the flip side of that is I'll have no reason to stress over weather.

No Saturday availability until December 2012. They've been booking up 18 months in advance. But they do still happen to have October 7, 2012 available, which is the Sunday of Columbus Day weekend. I don't like the idea of a Friday or Sunday wedding, even though it typically means discounts, because I don't want to ask people to take off work or have them want to leave early because they have work the next day. Doing it on a Sunday during a long weekend would hopefully be more convenient and okay with everyone.

That's venue #1 and so far the only one we're checking out in Pennsylvania. Next weekend, we're checking out 5 in New York.

I'm open to thoughts and suggestions, people. Bring it on.

And So It Begins

2011-10-21T08:05:00.000-04:00

Even though I'm in no rush to start wedding planning, I kind of feel like I have no choice. Everyone and their mother already has plans for Fall 2012. You go through life totally oblivious to the fact that people all around you are booking their lives a year in advance, and then you get engaged and you realize that you really should have booked your photographer 17 years ago. Also the one you love costs $5000. That does not include travel. Holy snickerdoodle.

So the tide has been gently (mostly) pushing me along and I've been making calls and doing some research and am heavy into the gathering information phase. This week, my first wedding related purchase came in the mail (a small personalized cute $20 something). This weekend, we are driving out to see possible wedding venue #1. I am a wee bit anxious about it, because I think I'm going to love it. It's beautiful in pictures, is in a gorgeous part of the state, the food is supposed to be amazing, the coordinator I've been communicating with is friendly and always prompt with responses, it's incredibly reasonably priced....and the first available date they have is December 22, 2012.

So basically we're going to see if I fall in love hard enough to give up the Fall wedding vision. That makes me nervous, because the Fall wedding vision has long been one of my non-negotiables, even before there was a ring on my finger. It's my favorite time of year and to get married when the air is crisp and the leaves are changing and everyone is feeling festive and cozy just feels right.

As a side note, Joe's favorite time of year is summer. But since sweat and white dresses and humidity and thick, curly hair do not go together, I win that one. I totally win that one. Even though he does not feel about Fall the way I do. Case in point: me: "Isn't this tree-lined street gorgeous with the leaves all falling and changing?" Joe: "Sure, if you like being surrounded by and constantly reminded of things dying." Varying perspectives are always nice.

As a further side note, no way we are getting married on December 22, 2012. It's too much trouble for guests to deal with during Christmas, but mainly my birthday is December 23rd. To set Joe up so he has to buy 3 gifts in a 4 day span for the rest of our lives is cruel and unusual. And also a recipe for disaster. I barely have need for two things he can buy at Best Buy, let alone three. The gift buying, we're working on it.

I will have a full report regarding Venue #1 next week! Very excited. Also: scared.

Nudo

2011-10-19T17:44:00.000-04:00

I have a slight obsession with olive oil. I eat it every day in almost every meal. I use it for marinating, sauteing, roasting, to make dressings, drizzling over salads, rice, vegetables, pasta. I even sometimes use it with a little coarse sea salt as an exfoliator. Beyond being wonderfully good for you, it's incredibly delicious. If I had to choose one food to eat for the rest of my life, warm crusty bread dipped in extra virgin olive oil with freshly cracked black pepper would be at the top of the list.

Which is I why I about peed in my pants when I came across Nudo, an olive grove in Italy where you can adopt an olive tree and be sent all the produce from your tree twice a year. Tons of extra-virgin olive oil from my very own tree? Um, sold. Plus you get to support a small-scale method of farming which is arguably better for the environment and for you. Bonus! Given how much good olive oil can cost, this is a downright bargain.

I might have to add this to my "to be gifted" list. Genius!

I Heart NY

2011-10-18T08:11:00.000-04:00

There's something about New York City that inspires you to leave your hotel room at 10:00 at night just to take a walk around the block by yourself. Maybe grab a decaf coffee and let the breeze rustle through your hair. Stroll slowly and wonder about the people passing. Where are they going? Who are they with? What's their story? It's pretty awesome.

Even though I was there for work, I still got in dinner with my brother and met up with my college buddies for a night out. I don't have the words for how much this group means to me, but I love that every time we're together, we can pick up exactly where we left off. I imagine us around a table very much like this 40 years from now still telling the same old stories that still crack us up.

Even when it takes 45 minutes to get a cab at 2:00 am on a Saturday night and the frustration is palpable, these moments still make me want to take a step back, take a mental picture, and enjoy the fact that at 2:00 am on a Saturday night with not an empty cab in sight, there was nowhere I would rather have been with these people in this city.

And then we ended the night at a gay bar, because no matter what we plan or what we do, we always seem to end the night at a gay bar. The same gay bar. Every. single. time. A little tip, ladies: use the bathroom before you get to the gay bar. Because those boys may be able to dance like nobody's business but they can't aim for the toilet any better than a straight man. And Lord knows there ain't no ladies room.

Love it.

I PASSED THE BAR!!

2011-10-14T17:23:00.000-04:00

Yay!

This has been a good couple of weeks.

It's Been Done

2011-10-13T08:21:00.008-04:00

So I'm thinking Joe and I might go down to City Hall, and then I'll just photoshop our heads onto these pictures and call it a day because other than a few personal things here and there, there is not a single detail of this wedding I would change. Simply beautiful and quite charming.

New Orleans wedding anyone? The wheels are turning.

Cannellini and Kale Soup

2011-10-12T08:13:00.000-04:00

You will swear this soup is laden with cream and butter, but you will be wrong. That rich, creamy, ever so slightly garlicky flavor is from pureed white beans, onions, garlic, and thyme, with some kale thrown in for good measure. It all combines to be less than 300 calories a bowl. Sprinkle on some garlic chips and a few drops of garlic infused olive oil and you will have yourself a delicious and hearty treat. So good that you might have a second bowl, maybe even a third, before you're quite suddenly reminded that you just ate three bowls of pureed beans, garlic, and onions. So long sexy.

This recipe is also from this month's issue of Martha Stewart Living. As with last week's recipe, I can't find this recipe on her site (though she does have several variations posted). Maybe the recipes in the current issue hit the website after the issue is off the shelves. Either way, I followed her recipe pretty much to the letter (though I substituted dry beans for canned beans because I'm impatient). Here it is with my slight variation:

3 Tbs extra virgin olive oil
2 onions chopped
1 medium carrot, chopped
Salt & Pepper
4 garlic cloves, minced, plus 2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
1 Tbs chopped fresh thyme
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flake (more if you like a little heat)
2- 16 oz. cans cannellini (white kidney) beans, drained and rinsed
6 cups water
1 dried bay leaf
8 oz kale, stems and center ribs removed, leaves sliced crosswise 1/2 inch thick

Heat 1 Tbs oil in large pot over medium heat. Cook onions and carrot until just softened, about 5 minutes. Season with 2 1/2 teaspoons salt. Stir in minced garlic, thyme, and red pepper flakes. Cook for 1 minute.

Add beans to pot with water and bay leaf. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low. Simmer about 30 minutes. Let cool slightly. Discard bay leaf.

You can either puree with an immersion blender until smooth or ladle soup into a blender in batches and transfer the pureed soup into a fresh pot.

Once the soup is smooth, bring it back to a simmer. Stir in kale and 1/4 teaspoon of pepper. Simmer until kale is tender, about 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, heat the remaining 2 Tbs of oil in a small skillet over medium-low heat. Cook sliced garlic, stirring often, until crisp and golden, 1 to 2 minutes. Transfer garlic to a plate using a slotted spoon. Reserve garlic oil.

Divide soup among bowls. Garnish with garlic chips, and drizzle with garlic oil.

Odds & Ends

2011-10-11T08:49:00.015-04:00

Sunday night, I watched 60 Minutes while DVR'ing Kim's Fairytale Wedding and I realized that I have many complicated layers.

LOVE this idea.

The Rosie Show and Oprah's Lifeclass back to back 5 days a week. So that's now how I spend my evenings in case anyone asks.

Loving the delicate jewelry from this shop and very much appreciating the prices.

Sleeping with the windows open and waking up to a room full of fresh, crisp fall air is pretty much the very best way to wake up in the morning.

Drooling over this hotel on the Amalfi Coast. My golly:

Did anyone else notice my little brother's comment on this post? What a twerp. As if there are things to be learned from experiences. xoxo

Leaving home again tomorrow for Connecticut and then three days in NYC! So excited to meet up with my college buddies and see one of my brothers. The one that doesn't talk back.

First Things First

2011-10-10T08:32:00.004-04:00

When I have read blogs written by others who get engaged, the announcement is often followed by assurances from the author that she is not one of those girls who has been planning her wedding since she was 8 years old and, don't worry, her blog will not become an all-about-wedding blog. In similar fashion, I would like to assure you that I have totally been planning my wedding since I was 8 years old and this blog is very likely to be quite wedding heavy. So now that that is cleared up, let's talk about the wedding.

As evidenced here, here, here and here (there are more, but let's not get nuts), I have been thinking about this for a long time. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted, but there is a slight complication I did not plan for, which is that I am working a temporary job right now, I am planning to take the New York bar exam in February (Let's not discuss this, I know I'm crazy. Also, no, Pennsylvania bar results have not been released yet. When you go to the website, a pop-up comes up saying do not call the office, a release date is TBD, and they will email us when they're ready, which is basically lawyer speak for fucking leave us alone we will deal with you when we're good and ready. Message received.), Joe is planning a career change very soon, and if I don't get a job here we will likely move back to New York when our lease is up (yay!) because it's ultimately where we want to be, as much as I do love it here.

All of that means I do not know what our financial situation will be or even where we will be come Fall 2012, which is the time frame I have in mind for all this to happen. That makes it pretty difficult to set a realistic budget, which makes it pretty difficult to pick a venue, which makes it pretty difficult to do anything else. Out of curiosity, I have already called a few places just to see what we're in for and turns out all the super pricey places are available next Fall and all the reasonably priced places are not. Apparently, when we decided we might like to get married next Fall, I really should have started making calls when I was 8 years old and first decided this marriage thing might be for me. On the bright side, we still have a decent amount of money stashed away from the sale of Joe's condo last Spring, for which I am eternally grateful. I have mentioned to Joe that I think this money would make for an incredible wedding. He has mentioned to me that he thinks it would make for a great down payment on a house. It's like he doesn't love me at all.

For right now, I'm just going to enjoy being engaged and let the chips fall where they may. Too much right now is up in the air for me to put definitive plans in place. In the meantime, gazing at and falling in love with my ring and hearing Joe call me his "bride-to-be" is exactly where I want to be.

P.S.

2011-10-06T14:00:00.003-04:00

The ring is here, for those who want a better look. My cell phone cannot do it justice.

A sapphire because my mom always wore a sapphire ring and I can remember trying that ring on in her bathroom from the time I was itty-bitty all the way through my teenage years. Beyond the sentimental value, I have also recently learned that sapphires represent truth, sincerity, faithfulness, and devotion which feels pretty perfect.

I made it known I wanted a sapphire a long time ago, but choosing which ring was all Joe. Nicely done, sir.

Guess What

2011-10-05T15:09:00.000-04:00

Joey made a really good suggestion with which I wholeheartedly agreed.

So, so happy.

Chicken & Mushroom Pot Pie

2011-10-04T15:08:00.001-04:00

When the seasons change from summer to fall, the temperature drops, and the air outside feels crisp and pure, something within me wakes up and cannot wait to get in the kitchen. I love to make comforting, hearty, delicious soups and stews and pastas and breads and roasted vegetables, put on cozy socks, throw open the patio door to let the cool air rush in, and fill our bellies. Last fall, I kicked off the season with beef chili and sour cream & cheddar biscuits.

This year, I got things started with a chicken & mushroom pot pie inspired by my friend and yours, Martha Stewart. A warm, hearty, welcome way to usher in my favorite season.

I deviated from her recipe only slightly. I used only chicken breasts rather than adding thighs since I'm not a dark meat fan. I substituted the heavy cream with half & half and I added 1/4 cup of chopped parsley to the finished product just before ladling it into the baking dish. I used a large baking dish rather than ramekins. Lastly, rather than making a pâte brisée (a French pastry dough) as Martha suggests in her wisdom for the topping, I just rolled out some frozen puff pastry and called it a day. I can't find a link on her website for this exact recipe, but it's in this month's issue of Martha Stewart Living (page 200 to be exact). The recipe with my changes follows:

2 slices bacon, chopped
1 Tbs extra virgin olive oil
1 medium onion
6 ounces cremini (baby bella) mushrooms, quartered
3 medium carrots, sliced
1 celery stalk, sliced
Salt & Pepper
1/4 cup plus 1 1/2 tsp all-purpose flour
3 cups chicken stock
2 lbs chicken breast, cut into 1 inch cubes
3 Tbs half & half
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

For the topping:
1 package frozen puff pastry, thawed
1 large egg, lightly beaten for egg wash

To make the filling:
Cook bacon in a large saucepan over medium low heat until crisp. Remove bacon with a slotted spoon and set aside. Raise heat to medium and add oil. Add onion and cook until translucent, about 8 minutes. Add mushrooms, carrots, and celery and cook until softened, about 10 minutes. Season with salt & pepper. Stir in flour.

Add stock, and bring to a simmer. Cook until thickened, about 5 minutes. Add chicken and half & half. Simmer until chicken is just cooked through, about 5 minutes. Stir in parsley. Return bacon to the saucepan. Set aside to cool slightly.

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Flour your board a bit and roll out the puff pastry to 1/4-inch thickness. Use a knife or pizza cutter to cut your puff pastry so it will fit your pan.

Ladle your filling into your baking dish. Cover with puff pastry. I was using an oval baking dish so I cut the puff pastry into long wide strips and just layered them until the surface was covered. Brush the puff pastry with egg wash.

Bake until topping is golden and filling is bubbling, about 20 minutes.

egg washes are very serious

No Place Like Home

2011-10-03T09:55:00.000-04:00

This week? I get to be home. So, so happy. All the traveling has been fun, but after 4 weeks of the back and forth, packing and unpacking, navigating new cities by myself, delayed and cancelled flights, and eating three meals out a day, I'm feeling a little exhausted, bloated, beat up, sore and swollen. A bit under the weather.

This past weekend was glorious simply because I got to sleep in my own bed, shop for groceries, make a home cooked meal, use full-sized bath products, watch Bravo (still yet to be found on a single hotel TV), and curl up with my honey.

I have a few short trips planned in the next couple of weeks but nothing keeping me away for an extended period of time for at least two weeks, which is quite all right.

Happy, happy, happy to be home.

Adventures in Pittsburgh

2011-09-30T08:04:00.002-04:00

Update: So I have since learned that there was a University of Pittsburgh football game AND American Idol auditions going on Thursday, which maybe explains the cab shortage. Okay, so I won't hold a grudge, Pittsburgh.

I mentioned it took me 2 1/2 hours to find a cab in a busy part of town during rush hour. So obviously Pittsburgh isn't the kind of town where you can easily flag a cab. Lesson learned. But catching a cab at the hotel shouldn't be a big deal, right? RIGHT?

Yesterday, I had a work event at 4:30 just 3 miles from my hotel. I went downstairs around 3:30 and let the bellman know I needed a cab. Plenty of time. Then I waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. FOR TWO HOURS I WAITED. No cabs. The bellmen were desperately on the phone trying to track one down to no avail. I myself called and requested cabs and nothing came.

Me (an hour and a half in): Any luck?

Bellman: No. I'm so sorry. We've been calling. It's not for lack of trying.

Me: I know. It's just...this is ridiculous. Isn't there a hotel shuttle or something?

Bellman: Yes, but it doesn't go where you're going.

Me: I realize, but I couldn't just get a ride? It's only 3 miles. I just have to get there.

Bellman: Our shuttle is backed up, too. I'm sorry. I've told the manager about the situation.

Me: There's nothing anybody can do? A car service? Something? It's only three miles.

Bellman: Sorry.

Me: Do you have a car? You busy?

Three cabs came and went during that two hours. They either had another pick-up scheduled, REFUSED TO TAKE ME BECAUSE IT WAS TOO SHORT A FARE AND NOT WORTH THEIR WHILE (!!!!), or I was forced to defer to people who had to get to the airport. Unbelievable. I was able to get in touch with the person organizing the event and apologize profusely for being late at least.

Joe: Hello?

Me: I'm about to offer money to a stranger to give me a ride. Just giving you a head's up.

Joe: Maybe don't do that.

Me: I'm desperate.

Joe: Don't tell the stranger that.

Finally, a cab came and off we went.

I was able to attend the event for only the last 20 minutes amid strings of apologies.

Twenty minutes...and then I realized I needed a cab to get back to the hotel. I called. I was told it would be at least an hour. I went looking for an ATM to pay for the ride back because I was out of cash since I had not expected the 3 mile cab ride to cost me $17 (what the fuck???). I found one. Once I recovered from the $3.50 ATM fee, I realized I was completely blanking on my PIN number. I could not have summoned it if you paid me a million dollars. Or if you had told me it was the secret code to making cabs magically appear. I tried 3 times but my PIN number had temporarily left my brain.

I called Joe.

"This is crazy. I'm just going to walk. Fuck it. It's only three miles and at least I'm in flats."

"Ok."

"It's getting dark though. And I don't really know where I'm going."

"Yeah, probably not a good idea."

"Shit. I'll call you back."

I stood idiotically on a street corner for a while considering my options. Then I spied a bus stop.

Another call to Joe.

"Hello?"

"I AM A SMART, RESOURCEFUL GIRL! I LIVED IN NEW YORK FUCKING CITY!! I AM GOING TO TAKE THE BUS!"

"Okay?"

"I AM GOING TO TAKE THE BUS! I WILL FIGURE IT OUT!"

"Godspeed."

"THANK YOU!"

I asked a girl waiting for the bus how to get back to the part of town where my hotel was. She said to take any bus numbered 61. Then she told me I was waiting on the wrong side of the street. Thank you.

I waited and got on a bus numbered 61.

"Hello, sir. I am not from here and I've never taken this bus. Do I pay you?"

"Just feed your money into the money slot. $2.50."

I took a $5 bill out of my wallet.

"You don't have change?"

"Nooo..."

"Well...ok...just get on. Pay the driver extra next time."

"BLESS YOU!"

I paid attention enough to realize you're supposed to pull the yellow wire going around the perimeter of the bus when you want to stop and figured out where to get off thanks to my work iPhone. My PIN number suddenly came to me in a flash. I scrambled to find a pen in my bag and wrote it down.

Twelve minutes later, I was dropped off a block from my hotel. Twelve minutes.

I walked back to the hotel and awkwardly passed the bellman on my way back in.

"I took the bus back."

"Listen, I still feel really bad. I'm really sorry."

"It's ok. It wasn't really your fault."

"Do you want a free drink ticket?"

"YES."

Needless to say, I did not explore Pittsburgh. We are no longer on speaking terms. But I will try my best to not be so fearful of public transportation in strange cities because I am a smart, resourceful girl who lived in New York fucking City and it really isn't that hard to figure out, especially if strangers and bus drivers are looking out for you. Bellmen on the other hand could be advised to point out a bus stop a block from the hotel when someone has been stupidly waiting for a cab for hours and also could pass out a lot more free drink tickets. Twelve minutes. Unbelievable.

"Look Up, Young Lady"

2011-09-29T07:38:00.006-04:00

This week I'm in Pittsburgh. I didn't plan any tourist-y things for this trip because...it's Pittsburgh. For whatever reason, I wasn't expecting this trip to be any big whoop and planned to stay near the hotel and take full advantage of TV and room service. Pittsburgh, however, has convinced me to do otherwise.

I chatted up my cab driver on the way to the hotel from the airport, which is a must do travel tip because cab drivers have the best advice about what's worth doing in their towns. When I told him it was my first time here, he gave me the quick run down on what to do and see and he made it sound awesome. The city should hire him for a nation-wide campaign of some sort and the people would absolutely flock.

Afterward, I made polite conversation, but when it lulled, I went back to staring at my phone for entertainment. We drove along in silence for quite some time. There wasn't much to see, just trees and highway. At some point, I vaguely noticed we were driving through a tunnel. Then, "look up, young lady." "What?" "Look up!" We emerged from the tunnel and immediately the city skyline was before us. Totally beautiful and unexpected. Nicely done, Pittsburgh. Thank you, cab driver.

via

Who knew? So far Pittsburgh has been charming and pleasant and actually quite pretty and I very much am looking forward to tomorrrow when I will have more time to explore.
But then, I also had to wait 2 1/2 hours for a cab today because I've been totally spoiled by cities wherein you can't spit without hitting a cab, and so was unprepared for the not-a-cab-for-miles-during-rush-hour phenomenon. Not cool.

Pittsburgh, I will let you make it up to me.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

2011-09-28T07:19:00.002-04:00

Last Friday, my plane landed around 10pm. I went home, repacked, got some sleep, and got up at 7 am the next morning to drive to New York to baby-sit my little cousins, ages 4, 2, and 1. Their mama and papa had a wedding to go to in Manhattan, and I've had this baby-sitting gig on the calendar for months. I love every chance to spend time with these kids. The rest of my family is down South so even though I'm madly in love with all the kids in our family, this is the first bunch I've actually gotten to watch grow up, be at all the birthday parties, and see regularly.

Baking with kids is rough, but how much they love it makes it so worth it. As long as you completely give up any hope of not making a mess.

We just followed the recipe on the bag of chocolate chips. They didn't come out great. That happens when a four-year-old is doing the measuring. Still, best helpers ever.

Postcards from Chicago

2011-09-27T07:47:00.002-04:00

Last week was Milwaukee-Chicago-South Bend. The highlight of this trip was Chicago. I have aways wanted to go there. I've heard great things about the city and there's so much to do and see. It's been on the list for a long time.

Traveling alone makes things tricky, though. On the one hand, I want to take advantage of my time in these places, but on the other hand there's only so many things it's fun to do alone. Plus, I don't want to see and do everything so I can save some treats for when I go back for a real visit.

So my top three for free time during my two days in Chicago were Harpo Studios (home of the Oprah Winfrey Show, although please tell me I didn't need to tell you that), the Willis Tower (formerly the Sears Tower, what the hell is up with that?), and Chicago-style pizza. I did the first two, but skipped the pizza because I ran out of time (also I had a huge lunch, as seen below).

So fun. Can't wait to go back.

Room service breakfast. I will never tire of this.

And now. Drumroll please. The epicenter of all that is right in the world....

The other thing that sucks about traveling alone? This is the only proof I have that I was there!

The garage where Oprah and all the celebs pull in every day! There were some large, rather intimidating, security looking guys lingering outside so this was my totally subtle walk-by picture.

The "YOU GET A CAR!" lot!

Yes ma'am.

I still haven't quite recovered.

Men

2011-09-26T07:28:00.001-04:00

Me: Do you have any idea where my navy blue cardigan is?

Joe: Weren't you wearing it when I picked you up at the airport last night?

Me: No.

Joe: Wait, what the hell's a cardigan?

Me: A sweater that buttons up.

Joe: That's not what you were wearing last night?

Me: No. That was a hoodie. And it wasn't navy blue.

Joe: Is that it on the chair?

Me: No. That's yours. And it's also not navy blue.

Joe: ...

Me: Just say you don't know.

Joe: I don't know.

Me: Thank you.

Random

2011-09-23T07:15:00.002-04:00

In the last 16 days I have slept in my own bed a mere 5 nights. I like all the traveling and the new cities and sights, but when I stop for a second, it hits me how sort of exhausted I am. This week has been Milwaukee, Chicago, and South Bend, Indiana. Next week is Pittsburgh. After that, the next destination is TBD.

I'm so excited to go home tonight. I will spend one night in my own bed, then go to New York to baby-sit for my sweet little cousins so their mama and papa can attend a fancy-schmancy Manhattan wedding. Even though I'm tired just thinking about the whirlwind weekend with no time to refresh before getting on another airplane, I'm so excited to spend time with the little ones. I miss them.

I've had no time in the last few days to form complete thoughts, but I've formed lots of incomplete ones. They are as follows:

1) I've stayed at 7 hotels this month. They've all had at least 4 ESPN's but none of them has had either E! or Bravo. What the hell?

2) Actual conversation with girl at rental car counter:

Her:   Last name?
Me:   Gambino.
Her:   Oooh, is that Italian?
Me:   Yes.
Her:   Wow. So what are you doing here? Did you just fly in from Italy?

It's an honor to be the first person someone has ever met whose last name ends in a vowel. Also: if I was fresh from Italy, odds my destination of choice would be Milwaukee? Anyone?

3) Charging hotel patrons for Wi-Fi is fucking bullshit. Especially when there's no Bravo.

4) The first thing I do upon checking into any hotel is bust out my anti-bacterial wipes and wipe down the remote, every light switch, the handle on the toilet, door knobs, the phone, the alarm clock, and all faucet handles. I also travel with my own pillowcase so I can cover the hotel pillow in case it skeeves me out. I like to come thisclose to flirting with OCD without actually being diagnosable.

5) On the bright side, all this traveling alone had made me completely unfazed about going to a restaurant and eating by myself. Or going to tourist attractions by myself. Though I draw the line at going on a Chicago river cruise by myself. I had no qualms about going alone to Harpo Studios however (more on that later except to say, that audible squeal you heard from the heavens yesterday? That was me.).

That is all.

Books: Used & Rare

2011-09-20T07:19:00.000-04:00

When I was little, I hated going outside. I would so much rather have been curled up with a book. Forcing me to put it down felt a bit personal and hurtful, even if it was for the benefit of fresh air and sunshine. You were tearing me away from friends and worlds I had become a part of. I can track my development by the books I loved: first, Little House on the Prairie; then, Little Women; then, the Anne of Green Gables series; then anything Jane Austen. With many others sprinkled in between.

When I passed this sign, driving down a gorgeous tree-lined road in Kingston, RI, I had to stop.

The store was magical and I quickly lost two hours wandering up and down the aisles and between the stacks of ancient books. There are few things I love more than very old books. Who was the first person to buy it in 1896? How many hands have held it, read it? What was their story? I love the nostalgia and mystery of it. I bought only four and that took major restraint.

One I am keeping to myself for now because I plan to gift it to a friend this Christmas.

Another is a book from 1900 on Twentieth Century Etiquette: A Ready Manual For All Occasions. I like to look back on how far we've come and there's a very old-fashioned fuddy-duddy part of me that longs for the days of rules of polite society, carriages, and gentleman callers. The section on Writing to Royalty should prove to be especially helpful.

Another is from 1933 and is called The Truth About Beauty: How to Acquire a Beautiful Face and Figure. That one should be interesting.

The last one is a Mother Goose children's book from 1968 with illustrations by Gyo Fujikawa. I love the illustrations and my plan is to frame some of the pages for hanging in a future nursery. The idea of tearing pages from a book hurts my heart a little though so we'll see if I can actually pull the trigger.

Postcards from New England

2011-09-19T08:02:00.000-04:00

Last week I was in Providence, Boston, and New Hampshire. Most of what I saw was airports, hotel rooms, and views out the window of my rental car during the five day work trip. Though there were some highlights: exploring a quaint used & rare book shop in Kingston, Rhode Island, enjoying a beautifully designed and fantastically done hotel in Warwick, Rhode Island, and how crazy beautiful the views are from New Hampshire highways. Had the leaves been turning already I might have had to stop on the side of the road just to take it all in.

Next week: the Midwest.

Maybe. Maybe Not.

2011-09-15T07:39:00.002-04:00

Being done with school finally and the end of the grace period on my student loans fast approaching means that reality has come home to roost for this girl. I've always had a very clear vision for my wedding, but when the time comes, budget concerns might mean some drastic scaling down is necessary. It's best that I get used to the idea now so I won't be disappointed later.

I'm starting to think I might be okay with an elopement if it could look like this (is that bride not absolutely the most gorgeous bride you've ever seen?). Or this. Or this. Pretty.

I could never do a true elopement because I need my nearest and dearest there. Also I want a first dance. And invitations. And bridesmaids. And a reception. Some more getting used to the idea is probably in order.

Birthday Cake

2011-09-14T08:00:00.002-04:00

This cake. This frosting. Add sprinkles upon request. For the man turning 31. Kind of adorable.

Postcards from Toronto

2011-09-13T07:11:00.000-04:00

Last week I discovered the Hipstamatic photography app on my iPad. In Toronto (for work), I fell in love with it.

Our Moment

2011-09-12T07:33:00.005-04:00

In every life are those events that shake you to your core. The events that are so monumental that you will never forget where you were when you got the news. That moment is burned into your soul and cannot be shaken loose. For better or worse, those moments leave their mark.

September 11, 2011 was the first such moment of my life. I was 17, enjoying the first few weeks of my senior year of high school in Dallas, Texas. That morning, I was in the Peer Ministry office of my high school, on my hands and knees, helping piece together a huge mosaic cross with colorful pieces of cut felt. Once we had it pieced together, it was going to be hot glued to a blue felt background and become a banner to be hung at our regular school masses.

We were putting together the pieces when Mr. Neil, who taught me sophomore English and driver's ed, popped his head in to tell us that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. I remember taking that news in and instantly dismissing it. The news was kind of crazy and unbelievable, and Mr. Neil was kind of a character, so the combination of the news and who delivered it meant I didn't quite believe it. The immediate events that followed unfolded while I spent my morning piecing together that cross, oblivious to what was going on in the world outside.

The school day continued, though no one spoke of anything else except the shock of the morning. Even so, all the bad things seemed very far away. After school, I met my mom at a studio because we were supposed to view and pick out my senior photos that day. The appointment was cut short because no one could concentrate and we rescheduled. We went home and sat on the couch and turned on the TV and I saw the images for the first time. Then it sunk in. Then the fear came. The sadness and grief and horror. The questions and the what does this mean and what's coming next.

New York City also left its mark on me that day. The next year, I would go there to start my first year of college. I would stand on the whirling, never sleeping sidewalks and feel the eeriness of everyone coming to a standstill whenever it seemed like a plane overhead was just a bit too low, even then, a year later, and collectively we would look up, watch, listen until it had safely passed. Then we would go about our business. Because fear is okay to some degree, it makes you cautious, but then you keep walking.

When hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans on August 29, 2005, I was sitting on the couch in my dorm room before the start of my senior year of college. As an RA, I was supposed to be downstairs, helping with move-in day, but I could not tear myself away. My dad lovingly calls me a New Orleans girl because I was born there, as was my dad and all three of my brothers, even though I have no memories of living there. That day, my connection to that city and to the people there came bubbling up in a way for which I was completely unprepared.
When my grandmother died on July 31, 2007, I was driving to her house after work and was halfway there when my mom called to tell me she was gone. I kept driving to her house, with the tears streaming down my face, because I did not know where else to go.

Those are my moments. My life-defining, soul-marking moments. I hear the refrain "never forget" over and over around this time every year. The thing is, I couldn't even if I wanted to. These events and these moments are branded on my spirit and have shaped who I am and the world in which I live. I can instantly put myself back to each of those times and the pain feels fresh. I wouldn't change that. These events were too huge to deserve any different.

My prayer is that we have the grace and courage to carry the weight of our monumental moments, whatever they may be. That we let them change us for the better. And that we honor those that were impacted the most by taking better care of each other. Please, always that.

It's Joey Day!

2011-09-08T08:23:00.000-04:00

Happy 31st birthday, buddy! In his honor, humor me by joining me in revisiting some of my most favorite Lovesome Joe moments:

So full of surprises

Montessori school is for pervs

Joe through the ages

He has yet to live this down

You cannot argue with logic

Don't mess with me

To many more...

I Call Bullshit

2011-09-07T08:14:00.000-04:00

My latest TV obsession is Bravo's Most Eligible Dallas. It is pointless, crappy TV and it is brilliant. I feel an especial connection to it since I spent my formative years from ages 12-18 years growing up in Dallas. My mom, dad, and two of three brothers still live there. I consider it my home town.

Growing up in Dallas, the number one hang out for the high school kids in my circle was the Starbucks at the intersection of Preston and Royal. We spent hours there. Sipping our lattes. Scoring freebies from the baristas. Smoking the Swisher Sweets we swindled from the 7-11 on the other side of the parking lot. A huge group of us would gather and we would take up every outside table and I don't even know. There are just no words to describe that amount of cool. I have so many pictures of my friends taken outside that Starbucks that it's a bit ridiculous. Didn't we have anything else to do?

Uh, no. There was nothing for teenagers to do in Dallas. That did not change when I turned 18 or when I turned 21. We always were at a loss as to where to go and what to do. There is just nothing that awesome to do in Dallas. It's not just me. The same complaint is shared by all my grew-up-in-Dallas friends.

All that to explain my complete and utter fascination with this show. WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL THESE PLACES THEY ARE GOING? I maintain they do not exist. I think it's the same restaurant every time decorated differently. I want a list. I want proof. I also want an invitation because they make Dallas look awesome. I want to go to that Dallas!

I'm going to have to start watching with my laptop out and Google primed and ready. I'm on to you, Bravo.

I can't wait for the episode where they're all huddled outside a Starbucks, sitting at a metal table, shivering in the middle of winter, clutching lattes, and talking about whether they should go to the Galleria next or just drive around. That's the Dallas I know and love. xoxo.

This Year Is Not Last Year

2011-09-06T07:41:00.000-04:00

This year's Labor Day weekend was a total bust. Joe got called into work Saturday...and Sunday...and then Monday. He was not thrilled. I spent my time on the couch emptying the DVR. I left the patio door open all day so that's kind of like enjoying the outdoors.

Since I pretty much achieved the perfect Labor Day last year, it's best that this year did not try to compete.

In other not-as-good-as-last-year news, Joe turns 31 on Thursday. Last year, we celebrated his birthday with an elaborate dinner and a fabulous surprise party. This year on his birthday, I'm going to let him drive me to the airport and then he's going to work all day. Surprise! There will likely not be a gift since I haven't gotten paid yet. Happy 31st!

He has requested simply to go out to dinner the night before I leave and for me to make him a cake. With a thick buttercream icing and sprinkles. Don't forget the sprinkles. He loves sprinkles. I recently also made a birthday cake for Joe's best buddy and his cake request was Funfetti cake. Joe asked that I put extra sprinkles on top of the Funfetti cake. This was the request of a 30-year-old man on behalf of his turning 31 man friend. They have the same taste in cakes as 8-year-old girls. I just do as I'm told.

Additionally, last year I could fit in a pair of jeans I currently cannot zip right now. That also blows.

This weekend has left me very nostalgic for last year. The emotional roller coaster of this summer has left me very nostalgic for last year.

If nothing else, I am very happy that Labor Day means summer is pretty much over because this summer kicked my ass. I am very much looking forward to that first day when the weather has officially turned, the seasons have changed, and you can feel the crispness in the air. At least that happens every year.

What the Hell Do I Know?

2011-09-02T07:50:00.003-04:00

Forget what I did. Some variation of this is calling my name. Ice cream added directly to the batter? I'm intrigued. This seems just completly over the top and unnecessary enough to be delicious.

(Although why you would bother with the Weight Watchers ice cream is beyond me.)

Everyone's Getting Hotel Robes and Teensy Shampoos for Christmas!

2011-09-01T08:28:00.000-04:00

I mentioned that the new job involves a lot of travel. I hit the road at the end of next week and thereafter will be home approximately 4 days in the following 3 weeks.

In no particular order, I will be in Toronto, Boston, Providence, New Hampshire, Milwaukee, Chicago, Indiana, and Pittsburgh.

That's just September.

Even though I'm an anxious flyer (I'm not afraid of flying so much as death, you see), I do love to see new places and, with the exception of Boston, all of these are new.

So been there? Done that? Suggestions, tips, and must do's welcome. I will on average only be spending a day and a half in each location, but I'm going to try to make the most of it. Also, tips on how to best pack a suit in a carry-on rolling bag for minimal wrinkling so I don't have to carry a hanging bag also appreciated.